March, 2017: About What You Saw

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"Good morning, Lili."

Lisa, who was approaching the fridge settling in her dorm kitchen with her hair sticking out everywhere giving not the slightest care in the world, almost had her heart jumped up to her throat from the sudden greeting she did not see coming at all.

"You almost killed me there," Lisa claimed as she rested her palm on the top of her beating chest, walking towards the petite brunette who dared to give her a mini heart attack.

"Did I?" Jennie boldly claimed Lisa's lips when the younger reached her, taking Lisa aback with another surprise.

To the world, Jennie and Lisa were only group mates. To those who knew the two, Jennie and Lisa had always been the odd ones. Well, they had an odd relationship—that was. It was full of indistinctive tension; one that will only spark the utmost wonders in the naked eyes' of those who witnessed them and to be frank, it sparked wonders in Lisa as well although she was at one of the ends of all those particular wonders.

It started in their trainee days before Jisoo and Chaeyoung came into the picture. Everything began innocently with Jennie guiding Lisa through her first few months as a trainee who had a language barrier. Lisa had nothing but utter gratefulness towards the older girl and there was not a day spent where Jennie did not stick to Lisa and vice versa. So it was only natural that by the time Lisa realised, Jennie had become her constant to the point she had found the difficulty of not having Jennie around because it was easier with Jennie—easier than breathing if she must put it in words. It was as if they were meant to be by each other's side, judging from how they just immediately clicked the moment they said hello to each other.

Until one day, somewhere in 2015, Jennie planted a simple innocent kiss right on her plump lips and all she could think of at that time was just the euphoria—moments after their lips collided. It came out rather comical to Lisa, however, considering how that euphoric state of mind only occurred to her after her brain managed to register a few minutes later that Jennie's presence before her eyes was no longer there to be found.

Fireworks—exploding fireworks they said; that was what you should expect when your lips collided with another's. So it was exactly what Lisa had rendered in her mind about her kiss. Her first kiss, for that matter, and that was what she also expected the moment Jennie's lips touched hers as she shut her eyes tightly with quivering lips when Jennie was closing their gaps.

She expected to be surprised at how loud she would hear the explosion in her ears, but what actually happened was she was surprised by how deafening the silence was instead. There was this white noise ringing in her ears the moment Jennie's lips collided with hers. She could not hear anything, it was just Jennie's lips, her chaotic state of mind, and erratic heartbeat coming from the mixture of her curiosity and anxiety about what would happen next.

Little did she know, she would never figure it out. About what would happen next, that was. It stayed a mystery for the longest time because they had never talked about it—their first kiss. They told themselves that they would talk to the other the next day for almost over 2 years by then and as ridiculous as it might sound, every time they had finally mustered enough courage to confront the other, they quivered back and chose to change the discussion into kisses instead.

Then the debut came and they got so busy they did not get to discuss the elephant in the room—that was what they chose to lead themselves to believe because they knew since the very beginning that they were only looking for excuses so they did not need to even take a slight glance at the topic. Somehow, deep down they knew the jeopardy it might bring them and how poorly it might end up. So they chose to turn blind eyes and enjoyed what it was they had.

They were scared.

They were immature.

But they could live being scared and immature. They did not quite mind since they were together and that was all that mattered.

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