Rule 12| Ellick

Night

It was a normal day in the squad room. We were finishing paperwork for the last cases, trying to get everything closed. I was cleared to go back to work about a month ago, and Gibbs let me back in the field three weeks ago. McGee and Nick were both keeping an eye on me like I was going to break. Because according to them and Kasie, no one can get shot and plan a wedding at the same time. I understand where they are coming from, but I really am okay. Most of the plans are laid out and I'm not in too much pain anymore. 

It's the worst at night when there are so many thoughts swarming in your head but not enough of them to distract you from the physical pain. The night is like a perfect storm, just enough crazy to keep my head spinning but not enough to keep pain from radiating through my whole body. 

Pain is something I can handle, it is something you prepare for as an agent. It is something the surgeon prepared me for. Physical pain, at least in this case is temporary. It's the mental battles that you fear will never end. 

"Hey, what's going on Ellie?" McGee asked, walking over to my desk, "You look like you saw a ghost or something."

 I faked a laugh and shook my head, "I'm fine, I was just daydreaming about this book that I was reading last night. Delilah recommended it to me, I'm on the third in a series of seven. I just can't put it down."

Nick walked over and put his hand on my back, "She loves it so much she doesn't sleep," he laughed. 

Yeah, that's why I don't sleep. Don't get me wrong, I'm not mad at him for not knowing. I've been trained to hide my emotions, we all have. I made the choice to keep this to myself, so I can't get mad at him for not understanding. I know that if I told him the way I was feeling he would do everything in his power to make it better. But, I don't even know what I'm feeling so there is no way to ask for help. 

I looked over at the tall Christmas tree next to my desk and then pointed at it, "I want one. We should get one for our house, Nick."

"Are you sure you and Dee aren't the same person, you guys are crazy" Tim laughed.  

Nick brushed my bangs out of the way and kissed my forehead, "Crazy but we love them. So, Ellie... we can't get a tree that tall because it won't fit. We already have a very pretty tree in our house and a ton of decorations outside. So what is it about that tree that is so special, my dear?"

I shook my head, "Sorry."

He raised an eyebrow at me, "You didn't do anything wrong, Ellie. I was just wondering why you wanted that tree."

"I just thought it was pretty? Don't get me wrong though. Our tree is amazing. It has ornaments that Jonny, Morgan, Talli, and even Abby have made. Ooo, and the wooden star that Gibbs made us," My eyes widened as an idea came to my head.

 How fun would it be if, at the staff Christmas party along with the cookie decorating, we also made ornaments for everyone to take home? A cute little ornament exchange. 

"Oh no," Nick laughed.

"She has an idea," Tim added, matching his tone.

I hid my face in my hands, "No..."

"Mhmm," Nick said, wrapping his arms around me. "Spill it, Eleanor Bishop."

I opened my mouth in shock, "Hey now!" I laughed. "Okay, Nicolas, not the full name coming all the way out of the left field."

He shrugged his shoulders, "It had to be done, now spill the idea."

I put my hands up in defense, "Fine, it's nothing big so I just didn't see the point... we should all make ornaments at the Christmas party and give them to each other. We can even hang some on the office tree."

At the same time, Tim and Nick both went, 'that is' Tim's was followed with an 'adorable' and Nick's was followed with an 'an idea' that was quickly changed to 'I... adorable'.

It's the little things, the things that people might not even see that make the hard nights worth it. It's being able to joke around at work with your best friend and the man you are going to marry. It's having so many friends, just at work and being friends with them outside of work. Having at least one person a day ask to look at your ring, just because they know it makes you smile. Not because of the ring, but because of what it means is coming and the person who gave it to you. 

"We have a murder investigation of a dead Navy veteran. Grab your gear," Gibbs yelled, walking into the room and grabbing his backup weapon out of his desk drawer. 

"So much for the party," McGee whispered to Nick and me.

Nick shook his head, "Oh she will get her party. I will make sure of it."