Ranger's Apprentice: The Tantalizing Tales

"You lied to me!"

"You... You lied to me!"

Alyss' voice, for once high pitched, had nothing of its usual calmth and dignity. But she wasn't screaming, or yelling. Alyss didn't yell.

"I just never thought you'd ever lie to me."

Tears were slowly starting to well up in her eyes. It never occurred to Will that part of her hurt was caused by the realisation of what he had really gone through, in Skandia. All he could focus on was her voice, soft, and barely more than a whisper, yet the pain was almost given a solid form and every word that passed her lips echoed painfully in his ears.

"I knew you, Will. And I thought I knew you better than anyone. For months, I walked around feeling as though you hadn't told me the full story. Whoever I asked - Halt, Pauline, Horace - they all told me to wait. Because once you were ready to talk about what really happened, you'd come to me.

But you never did.

So I started doubting myself. I thought I had imagined whatever was still bothering you. I decided that you meant it, when you said 'that's all'.

And now I find out that all these years, you just... you just lied to me."

Her voice broke and they both realised that she had unconsciously taken a few steps back, away from him.

Will reached out to her, to her hands, but she pulled them back. There was a hint of anger flaring in her eyes. Her voice was fierce.

"Were you ever going to tell me?"

She looked at him. Watched his mouth open, but warned him before he got the chance to answer.

"Don't lie to me!"

Will moved his shoulders in a hopeless shrug. When he spoke, there was nothing left of the usual confidence he talked with. Instead, his voice was filled with regret and she could hear that he was sorry, truly sorry.

"I never meant to lie to you."

Alyss allowed him to move forward and take her hands.

They were in her apartment, in Castle Redmont. The sun had gone down a few hours ago. The Courier had been finishing up on some files when Will arrived. The young Ranger had shown her a letter, the letter that Horace had written to share with them the happy news of his invite to teach some classes at Redmont. The knight had ended with his usual checking in with the Ranger, asking if all was well, if the "Ranger-life" was still "all sunshine" - and if had had any trouble using the warmweed salve.

Alyss, upon not understanding the final question, had asked Will, with that finding out that her friend had never told her the full story of his encounters in Skandia.
Now here they were and she was still waiting for an explanation.

When Will talked, he looked her straight in the eye, so she could see that he wasn't lying now, not anymore. The brown eyes that she had grown up looking into, were blackened with hurt, regret, and... and fear.

"While we were still in Skandia, it was easy to pretend nothing had happened. I couldn't allow myself to break down over every little thing - it was war. It wasn't until I got back home again that everything started to catch up with me. It was more than just a bad dream, cause when I woke up, the effects were all too visible.

For weeks, I'd wake up in the middle of the night in cold sweat and even the thought of snow could send me into an uncontrollable panic attack. I was weakened, I was depressed, and I, I couldn't talk about it, too scared about what would happen if the thoughts that haunted my mind were given a solid form.

As you know, my exams were pushed back. Only when I passed those I realised that whatever had happened in Skandia lay behind me now. It was the past. I could finally begin to move on.

After that, it just grew easier to ignore it. I couldn't pretend it had never happened, I couldn't just forget, but I could ignore the scars it had left behind."

He inhaled deeply.

"I never told you because I didn't want to relive any of it. It wasn't that I didn't trust you - I didn't trust myself."

Now Will's voice was breaking and it broke Alyss' heart. She moved towards him, engulfing him in an embrace. At this point they were both crying.

"I'm sorry I lied to you," Will said. Alyss sniffed and pulled him closer. She wiped away some of the tears on her cheeks.

"It's okay, I, I get why you didn't tell me. Just... never lie to me again, okay? I want to help you, be there for you."

She felt him nodding against her shoulder.

"I love you," he muttered.

She couldn't help but smile through her tears.

"I love you too."