Record Me -A David Dobrik Fanfic-

Chapter 12: Mental health

TRIGGER WARNING
This chapter talks about anxiety and depression.

Sam's P.O.V

In the Hispanic heritage there is no such thing as mental health. In the Hispanic heritage things get hard but that's life, suck it up.

Anxiety and depression aren't a thing. Anxiety and depression is a myth or a poor excuse for lazy people who have nothing better to do with their time.

If you were to tell a Hispanic parent that you think or do have anxiety and depression they would assume you're crazy. The first questions would be what did we do wrong? Do you want to hurt yourself? Do you hear voices?

Never once did I ever think to tell my parents I didn't 'feel good' (mentally that is.) They would think I was crazy. Don't get me wrong, they were loving, supportive, and overall great parents to me.

They just didn't understand it. I tried to tell my mom when I had my first anxiety attack. She said it was all in my head. I tried to talk to her when I found out I had seasonal depression but she said to stop thinking about it.

She was sitting on my bed as I sent Anthony, Jayden, and Ilya to buy me some ice cream. I sat at my makeup vanity waiting for her to say something.

"I try to understand everything. I never had supportive parents, my dad always worked and my mom was always cleaning and tending to him. They were good parents but they weren't understanding, they thought like the people from our Pueblo." She finally said, looking out the window as if in trance.

I remained quiet as she continued.

"I always thought I had done a better job of listening to you and your brothers. I'm sorry we didn't have much to offer you all as kids. The older you all got I realized that no matter how much we did or didn't have, spending time with all of you would be the best thing. Your dad took a big leap of faith when he left his job to start his own construction business. I've worked my whole life so when I decided to start staying home, it was hard. My parents told me depression isn't real. They said that's all in your head and it's not an actual thing. When I started staying home I felt like I was going crazy." Her voice cracked as she continued.

"I thought I had depression but I never told anyone. I'm sorry if we don't talk to you guys about it but we don't know better. It's my fault Matthew is like that, I never talked to him like I talk to the others. I always thought he was just a strong man like your dad. All your brothers are good boys and they like to talk to me. I always ask them how their day is, I ask about girls, I ask about everything. I'm sorry if we aren't the best with those things. We love you so much Samantha, I never want you to feel like you can't talk to us." She said, finally looking over at me.

I sniffled and smiled at her.

"I know mum, you guys are the best. I love you and mi pa so much. Thank you guys for being so supportive of me. Matthew always thought he had to take control but you guys had everything under control. I think he just didn't want you guys to worry too much." I said, getting up and sitting next to her.

She wrapped an arm around me as I laid my head on her shoulder. She took a deep breath and sighed.

"You are all so hard headed like your dad." She laughed a bit.

"Who are you calling hard headed?" Jacob said, finally making an appearance after the game and fight.

"Where have you been? One second you're playing the game and the next you're gone!" My mom said, hitting his shoulder.

"I was out front with Matthew. He didn't mean to yell, he's drunk." Jacob said, sitting in the middle of us.

We remained quiet as my mom's eyes filled up with tears again. She wiped her eyes and stood up, looking at Jacob.

"Why was he drinking?" She asked.

"He broke up with Lindsay cause she got promoted and she's moving away. He was suppose to get the promotion but apparently she did something to get it." He shrugged.

"Is he still in the front?" She asked.

"Probably." He said nonchalantly, laying on my bed like a starfish.

She nodded and walked out without another word. I looked at Jacob who was looking up at the ceiling.

"You know, now that you're not here things are boring. It sucks being younger than the other guys, they think I'm still a kid." He said, turning to me.

"You are." I laughed.

"No I'm not! I'm a year and a half older than you!"

"I'm more mature than you!"

"No you're not!"

"Whatever Jake."

"Where did everyone go?" He asked, sitting up.

"I think they were getting ice cream." I sighed, raising my legs to my chest.

We remained quiet, enjoying each other's company. I looked at him as his mind seemed to wander off.

Matthew was always in charge of all of us. My mom worked from 5 AM to 5 PM when we were younger. Her job was an hour away so she woke up at 3:30 to get ready and go to work. Then she would get home around 6 to cook and clean.

Matthew always made sure we had a lunch for school, a snack after school, and that homework was always done. Anthony was in charge of getting us to school on time. He was barley a year younger than Matthew. He was also always the one doing everything Matthew said.

I never understood why he listened to him but he did. Jayden was two and a half years younger than Anthony. He was always doing his own thing. He was always in a sports team, out with friends, or just doing Jayden stuff.

Jacob and I were always together as kids. He was only a year and a half older than me. Growing up we were the ones who the boys took care of the most. As we all grew up they all started doing their own thing when my mom started staying home.

Once she started staying home, everyone was old enough to go out with friends, hang out at the mall, etc. All except for Jacob and I, we were always stuck at home.

We would hang out with David, Ilya, John, Alex and Mike out front and ride our bikes around the neighborhood. Once David and I started doing Vine and YouTube Jacob started going out with his friends more.

He got a girlfriend and soon enough we were in different cities. We kept in touch but I missed him. I missed our late night talks, our random movie marathons, but most of all I missed having everyone around.

"Are you okay?" He asked, turning to me.

"Yeah. Are you?" I replied, looking back at him.

"I miss the old times." He shrugged, laying back down.

"I do too."

"It's good you got out of here when you did. All your brothers are simps. They're so lame, I should go move with you."

"They've always been simps, you're not a simp cause I showed you better. You should totally move in with me, we could get a giant house."

"Why don't you get one?"

"It's just me in my apartment, there's no reason to get a house if I'm alone. Butttt if you go, we could get a giant house cause ma and pa would go more. After all we are the babies."

We quickly began to talk about LA and what he would be able to do. We talked about mansions, moving next to the Kardashians, and starring in movies.

"Should we do it?" He asked, his eyes full of hope.

I smiled and nodded. He grinned ear to ear, his eyes lighting up.

"I gotta talk with ma! What am I gonna say to pa?! Wait! I have to quit work! I'll be back!" He spoke fast, running past a confused Ilya, Anthony, and Jayden.

Author's note:
Hey! I haven't included trigger warnings on other chapter but I'm going to go back and edit them! Sorry about that!