Like a ghost | Sanzu x reader

Feelings aren't easy to express

To the funeral you go. It's sunny with a few clouds, yet pretty windy. You're wearing your best friend's, for you oversized suit, old school vans since you didn't have much of a choice back at the hospital and a bouquet of sunflowers because you 2 always used to go watch the sunset on a sunflower field. You miss those times.

"Kinda weird how I'm accompanying my best friend to my own funeral.", Sanzu can't take this situation serious. But let's be honest, neither can you. "Kinda weird how I can interact with ghosts.", You reply, slightly laughing. Everybody's gonna be all sad & upset, probably even cry, while you're gonna be chatting with your invisible best friend, making everyone send you back to the hospital.

Already seeing your destination with a few Toman members around, you excitedly wave your arm and pick up some pace. Everyone smiles at you and waves back but with much less enthusiasm. They knew from the start, you're gonna act different from them so obviously nobody judges you.

"Look, everyone gathered together here just for you!", You turn to the side where Sanzu stands, besides you. He nods with his natural big smile. Slowly, you turn back around to see the Toman members smiling at you. Smiling with a sad face. They heard what you're going through and you have their full support.

"We're so happy to see you, Y/n.", Mikey steps forward from behind Mitsuya & Hakkai, who're already in tears, especially Hakkai. He can't stop sobbing since the day he brought you Draken's letter. "Yeah...it's been a while.", You say tearing up from happiness.

Sanzu pats your head. You missed his big, soft hands caressing your hair whenever you weren't feeling well. You turn to hug him tight. You didn't care what the others were thinking. But what made you burst out it in tears, was when the rest of the gang came closer and made it a big group hug. You never felt happier. That was exactly what you needed.

Time passed & it was time to enter the hall where the funeral was held. Everyone sat down. You were seated between Mikey & Angry. You love everyone so you didn't mind at all. Finally, you went to the front to say a few words. You spoke your mind, you don't need a sheet of paper to help you express your feelings towards Sanzu.

"I-", Your voice cracked. Tears suddenly started rolling down all over your face. But why? Your best friend was right besides you. You just couldn't react differently while seeing your friends body buried in flowers, a big photo of him & all his friends sitting in front of you, sobbing. You take a deep breath and continue with a wet face.

"I always loved Sanzu. I still do. How could I not? He was always there for me. No matter how many problems he had himself, Sanzu always came to me the second he found out I'm not too happy. I can't really express myself with words, especially with everyone here looking & listening. This sounds completely stupid but Sanzu's right next to me & it's kinda awkward to speak about it like this. I just wish he tried to protect himself instead of me back then...", You can no longer talk properly so Mikey comes to the front next to replace you. He gently caresses your back, telling you it's okay with his comforting smile. You go back to your seat where Angry gives you a tight hug when he's usually too shy for such things.

Mikey too, takes a deep breath before starting to talk. "Thank you Y/n. I'm sure Sanzu's happy to hear your words so I'll continue. As his captain, I can say that Sanzu was annoying & caused us a lot of trouble. But if I'm being honest...it'd be boring if he didn't. He always wanted to be of good use & he was. He was a very loyal friend. He never dared to betray anyone, as you can see with Y/n. He always had my back like we had his. I'm so grateful to have had him in my life, I don't even know what else to say. Hah...now I get you Y/n, feelings aren't easy to express. I'm sorry for the short talk, I hope you know how much I appreciate Sanzu & miss him. But he got the rest he deserves.", Mikey, as always holds his tears back. He doesn't want to seem weak, he wants to be strong for the ones he cares about.

Everyone agrees that Sanzu was very loyal & that even if not everyone showed it, they really liked Sanzu. With him witnessing everything, he started crying himself. "He's very thankful.", You say smiling to your left where Sanzu's standing, next to his captain. Everyone remains silent & nods with a smile.

After Toman's final goodbye to Sanzu, you ask them to come with you. It was evening. The sun was setting. You took them to the sunflower field you and Sanzu used to go all the time. "This was our spot.", You say zoning out. Everyone sits down on the soft grass behind you, considering Sanzu sitting next to you. Watching a bit of the sunset, you all just enjoy each other's presence.