𝐔𝐍𝐅𝐎𝐑𝐄𝐒𝐄𝐄𝐍 | Taekook ✔️ Translation

Chapter 14 - Alone

Empty. I was empty. Ever since that night I have felt desperately empty.

I had lived the last ten hours after the night of Jungkook's death as a mere spectator. I hadn't said anything, I hadn't done anything, I had just sufferedI had let the others drive me home without making a single move.I had let people around me believe that I would get over it after a while, and that in two or three months I would be fine again. It was as if Jungkook had never been there.I stood there, manipulated like a puppet, passing from the hands of a doctor to those of a fireman, then from those of a policeman to those of Seokjin, who had rushed to the scene immediately after hearing the news.I had remained prostrate in a concrete silence, reinforced by all the thoughts that invaded my mind.The images of my life with Jungkook, and the ones I had just seen, still plagued me.The images of his bleeding, motionless, lifeless body.

I stood there, inexpressive, withdrawn. Empty.

What they didn't know, and what they probably never knew, was that in that moment, the very moment I realized that Jungkook had left me and wasn't coming back, my whole world collapsed in front of my eyes, and I couldn't do anything about it.It was as if someone had taken my heart between his two hands and, in a slow and painful gesture, had amused himself by tearing it apart, only to throw the pieces into the void.And no one could ever hope to pick up those pieces. They were lost forever. I was definitely lost.

Before I was taken home, a policeman came to see me.He told me that a drunk man had driven away from a bar and with the rain he couldn't control his car as he wanted.And Jungkook was there at the wrong time.The ambulance and fire brigade arrived about ten minutes later.The restaurant manager came out quickly to help Jungkook, but by the time they got to him, he had lost too much blood.And his heart had stopped. They couldn't save him. The manager was taken to the police station to testify.The drunk was taken to the hospital.

But Jungkook... My Jungkook... He was dead.

But of course, I was the only one who really cared. The only one who really suffered.He was my man, my companion, my first friend and my first love.My fiancé, not someone else's. The one I was supposed to make a life with. They didn't know him.They didn't know him. They had never known him, they had never had the opportunity to know him. So it didn't matter to them that he was dead. They couldn't understand. They never would. The policemen, the firemen, the ambulance men, all those people... Somemight be a little sad the next day, but it would all be forgotten very quickly. Stored in the memory cupboard in the category of failures of the job, in the folder labelled "It's a shame, but there's nothing we can do about it."

The manager would be uncomfortable for a week or two, but most of all he would be worried about how to get the customers to come back to him, otherwise his turnover might be reduced.

Jin, Namjoon, Hoseok, and all those who knew him well, unlike all the others, would be very sad, even if they were not.In a month, they would look back on him and say that he was a good boy, and that he died too young. Intwo months, it would be over. Sometimes they would say how much they miss Jungkook, then they'd tell an anecdote from their high school years, when they were still together. They would laugh, and then they would go on to tell another story. Finally, they would change the topic of conversation altogether Jungkook definitely out of their minds for an indefinite time.Every now and then they would pull out the old photos, then smile when they saw his face.Then they would close the album. And they would forget again.
What about me? No idea. Three years? Two years? Maybe one year? Or maybe never? Onhow long would the image of the one I would have loved more than my own life disappear? Andhow long will it be before I can lie in bed again, lie on a sofa, eat dinner, without the image of his radiant face, without my heart suddenly clenching, my throat closing and my eyes watering?Because I would have simply thought of all those daily moments spent with him that I would never have the chance to live again?When would this unbearable pain disappear?Would it ever go away?