I LOVE YOU, BUT YOU'RE NOT MINE
Every Halloween, Camilla Wilson turns another year older. Another year of her life waiting for James Potter to love her.
[COMPLETED]
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FOR FIFTEEN, SIRIUS SNEAKS A BOTTLE OF FIREWHISKEY TO HIS DORMITORY. They still have a year until they're able to attend the Halloween party. Sirius decides to just bring the party to them. It's a nice sentiment, but Camilla doesn't want to drink anything. She doesn't want to end up like her mother. She knows her mother is only the way she is because her father drank too much. It seems to be a genetic thing and Camilla is scared that if she has a single drop then her life will be over. It's paranoid thinking but she's not one to take risks.
Camilla doesn't mind that everyone else decides to drink it though. Sure, they have school the next morning but it doesn't matter to them.
They're sitting in a circle just as they were a few years ago. Sirius is passing the bottle and each friend takes a swig when it reaches them. Lily is there but leaves when she realizes it's already past ten. Camilla is fine with that because Lily being there would only spoil things. She does not ever want to see James drunk in front of Lily.
Mary and Sirius are dating and have been for a little bit. Everyone knows it won't last and is just for fun. Camilla is envious though. She wishes she could be with someone even if it was just for fun. That way, she could believe even for a moment that she is worthy of love.
Mary is sort of sitting on Sirius' lap but in a very messy and casual way. She is giggling a lot. They both seem happier than they did before they were together.
"We should play a game," Peter suggests. "That sound good Camilla?"
Camilla nods. He already knew she was going to say yes before he asked.
"Truth or dare?" Peter shrugs.
Remus rolls his eyes. "What are we? Eleven?"
"Got any better ideas, Moony?"
Remus just ignores him so they decide to play. Moony is a fun nickname the other boys call Remus. They all have one. James is Prongs, Sirius is Padfoot, and Peter is Wormtail. Peter's is sort of unfortunate but he doesn't seem to mind.
"Millie, go first." James grins.
Camilla sighs. "Fine... Remus. Truth or dare?"
"Truth," he says after a bit of hesitation.
"Why do they call you Moony?"
He smirks and rolls his eyes. "Because of my wonderful arse, love. Sirius, truth or dare."
"Dare," Sirius says with so much confidence Camilla's eyes widen.
Remus dares Sirius to drink the firewhiskey without pausing for ten seconds and he does flawlessly. Sirius picks James next. James tells him he wants a dare.
"I dare you... to kiss the prettiest girl in the room."
James does not think about the command and turns his head to kiss Camilla. Camilla does not even process it before it's over. It's quick and not very intimate. She knows he was just doing it because he can't say not to the dare but she doesn't mind. It was barely a real kiss but -
James thinks that Camilla is the prettiest girl in the room? Sure, Lily isn't there and Sirius would sock him for kissing Mary but still. He did not even hesitate to kiss Camilla.
"Now if I asked you to kiss the prettiest girl at Hogwarts you'd run to find Evans, wouldn't you?" Sirius chuckles.
"That was fucking rude," Marlene spits.
"Everyone knows it's true," Sirius mumbles. "No offense, Camilla."
"None taken," she brushes it off. On the inside she is yelling vulgar things at herself.
James would never choose you over Lily. James was just trying to be polite . He isn't as close with Marlene and didn't want to make her uncomfortable. He couldn't kiss Mary either because of Sirius. You were just a pity option. He would never actually kiss you -
"Camilla? Hello?" Peter says, snapping her out of it. "Truth or dare?"
"Oh, er... Truth," she responds without thinking.
"Okay... Who do you fancy most out of the whole school... if you had to pick?"
"That's a dumbarse question, Wormtail," Sirius teases.
Camilla feels James' name at the tip of her tongue. She opens her mouth and it only wants to say one name. She has the perfect chance to tell James everything.
Instead, she shrugs and says "That Andy kid is sort of cute. The one a year above us, ya know."
"Good choice," Marlene whispers, shooting Camilla a wink.
The fact that nearly everyone in the room has been drinking becomes prevalent after two rounds of the game so they decide to stop. They sing happy birthday just before twelve, James gives her another drawing (it's becoming a yearly tradition), and Camilla decides it's time for her to go to bed. However, she is the only one.
"I'll walk ya back, m'lady," James says. He stands up just seconds after Camilla although he stumbles slightly.
"If you insist."
They leave the boys' room and walk down the steps where the party has died down in the common room. Then they walk up the steps to the girls' room.
Lily is sleeping but Camilla turns a lamp on so neither of them trip over anything.
"Goodnight, James," Camilla says and sits on her bed. James sits next to her and smiles.
"Miiillllllieeeeee," James whispers.
"Jaaaammmeeesss," she mocks.
He leans closer and smiles. His hair is so floppy and his glasses are slightly askew. He looks incredibly goofy and kind and Camilla couldn't be more in love.
"You know... I think you're the prettiest girl at Hogwarts and I would wanna kiss you again," he says with a slight giggle.
Before she can respond, Lily grunts in her sleep and thrashes a bit.
"You should leave, James. Go to bed. You're going to be hungover during Charms." Camilla says softly.
"Okay," he says with slight disappointment.
When he leaves Camilla cries. She wishes James could be so sweet to her sober. She wishes he won't regret his words the next morning. She wishes for her affection to be beyond a dare.
At breakfast the next morning he tells her he's sorry if he said or did anything to make her uncomfortable and he hopes she had a good birthday.
A/N:
i apologize for the length it'll get longer starting around chapter sixish lmaoooo i'm lame i know
