You saved me, now I'll save you - pregame saiouma

Chapter 5 (Obsession.)

(Tw: Mention of V0m1t1ng, su1c1d3, s3lf h@rm and 0bs3ss1on. I censored the words in order to NOT. trigger anyone. Please do NOT. read past this point if you get triggered by anything of the list below.)

Kokichi Pov.

After we were...done crying, we sat down on the table, talking about the things that were really important. Shuichi made us some tea, and it tasted amazing. I never was a big fan of tea. (In my opinion it was just some boiled water with a few herbs in it.) But this tasted very good.
Me and Shuichi talked a bit about the time we spent in the 7 years.
But...
I recognized that he got more quiet.
,,Hey, is everything alright?" I asked him. He looked at me with a serious face.
,,Kokichi. Why did you try to kill yourself. I...I don't understand...please..explain it to me..why you wanted to end your life..I was the one who saved you..and..I want to know."
I froze. Somehow, the hot tea between my hands seemed to get cold with every breath I took. Immediately I felt dizzy and weak. I bite my lips. No. I don't have to hide. I have to tell Shuichi the whole truth. He deserves it more than any other person on the world. I breathe in and out. The tea began to be hot again, the world around my began to be colourful again, and all my senses and my mind were back.
I looked Shuichi straight into the eyes.
,,Alright. I'll tell you everything."

So I told him.
I told him about my mother, my classmates, about how I hurt myself. About my self hate, that I had no one who loved me, which let me feel empty.
That I saw no reason in living anymore.
I told him about e.v.e.r.y.t.h.i.n.g.
From A to Z.
And he listened. He listened without making a sound.

And when I finished, Shuichi hugged me.
He hugged me tight, he wrapped his arms around my body and pat my shoulder.
,,I'm sorry Kokichi. I'm incredible sorry." Shuichi whispered.
I smiled and hugged him back.
,,Shumai, it's okay. I'm just so happy that you're back."
We let go from the hug, and he smiled at me too, with a more sad smile than ususal. But what did I expect? Him to laugh after I told him about years of torture?

After we sat down again, I also wanted to ask Shuichi about him.
,,Hey, Shuichi? What about you?"
He looked at me, slight surprised.
,,Hm? What do you mean?"
I put my hand on my chin. ,,Well...do you have any problems that are torturing your heart, Shumai? I will listen to them, like you listened to mine."
First, Shuichi just stared at me. Then he giggled. It was a short... strange giggle.
,,Oh Kichi' what should I tell you...well... After I moved, I.. Fucking wanted to end my terrible life that made me suffer that much."
...
,,W-what..?"
I was confused.
What happened? That wasn't the Shuichi I knew. I always looked at his shining, pretty eyes but..
They died. The eyes that looked at me were dead. Grey. Unusual.
He continued talking while he were now starring at the table.
,,I missed you so much... I felt like I lost everything that was important to me. I didn't leave the house for days, maybe months. And the day I left the house..I couldn't look people in the eyes anymore. Do you see this?"
He pointed on the hat next to him.
,,With this thing.. Everytime I go out I put this damn hat one. It's not enjoying, no..."
He looked so sad.
,, It's like a demon I'm carrying with me...you're the only one I'm able to look in the eyes, Kokichi..."
Suddenly, he smiled from one cheek to the other, it was a big, real smile.
I frowned. What was wrong again?

,,hey, but you know what??? In all that time I didn't start ONE suicide attempt because....I HAD DANGANRONPA!!!"
He put his phone out and showed me a picture. My eyes widened. On the screen were big letters, around the letters there was pink liquid and bullets.
,,Wh-what?? D-danganronpa?" I asked, irritated.
He nooded. ,,Yesss! It's a great show..I- you know I'm addicted to danganronpa...it was the only thing I have had while you were gone..7 years danganronpa kept me alive..great isn't it?"
I didn't know what to say. I wanted to disagree, agree, cry, scream, laugh, hug him, smile, I wanted to vomit, bite myself, scratch my cheeks to know if I were dreaming BUT...

,,S-Shuichi? What..what is danganronpa exactly?"

.....
He told me. All of it. I didn't understand.
What was a monokuma, who the fuck is junko enoshima, who is kyouko kirigiri he loves so much??? Despair, hope, corpses??? What the hell is a monomi, what is a despair syndrome, what what what what I didn't understand...

,,I.. I don't understand, Saihara. I don't understand why you love a series with murder and...torture so much.."

He smiled sadly.
,,Honestly, I don't know either. But... I know that danganronpa is a great series. I would do anything to be part of the show."

He took my hands.
,,Kokichi. When there's a new season of Danganronpa coming out... Let us participate....TOGETHER!"
.
.
.
It was at this moment I knew. Everything was clear for me. I had to save Saihara from Danganronpa.
Before I will lose him completely.

A/N: Hey there! First of all, sorry again for my bad english..I'm working on it ^^'!
Second, thank you all for reading this...I'm not a good writer...my apologies. But I'm so happy that a few people read my...crap...I'm really sorry If I got the characters wrong...

Also, I might post Ingame Saiouma as kind of a "filler"! That means, I'll try to update one book per day. ( I have a lot of exams in this month so problaby it won't succed much, please don't be mad please..,) i had a few good ideas and yeah..

Also, I'm sorry for typos. It's late in the country I live and I'm tired. I just wanted to bring out a new chapter so bad..

I hope you have a nice week and again, thank you sooo much!!
<3