False Confidence ; Jotakak

Don't do a Goddamn Thing They Say

CW~Graphic Nudity, Swearing, a  Queer Character is Outed (kind of)

"No," Jotaro tossed the magazines on the floor. "This isn't funny." He muttered.

"It's a little bit funny." I giggled.

"You fucking loaned my grandfathers porn? Are you serious? You don't see how fucked this is?" He scowled.

I was fairly certain that exchanging porn mags wasn't an uncommon male friendship experience. Jotaro was just being prudish, surely. "I know it's weird that it's your grandfather's, but it's not like we're going to beat off to it," I said as I collected the magazines off the floor.  "You just relax; I'll read one of the articles." I took the pile to my bed.

"How's you're reading?" He asked. "It's going to be in American-English."

Oh shit yeah, that was right. I brushed him off. "I read well, better than I write at least." I always wrote phonetically in English. I'd write the words how they sounded, like in romaji. It annoyed my teachers, and it annoyed me too.

"Well, I don't think they'll be a spelling test, but who knows." Jotaro allowed himself to lay back on the bed. He lifted himself down softly as not to irritate his back. He let his eyes close.

I opened the first magazine in the stack to a random page. I almost jumped out of my skin. There was a woman, a white woman, blonde, about thirty. She had giant breasts and had her legs spread, her hands pulling her--shit, what was it called in English? I couldn't just ask Jotaro. But she was pulling the folds of her genitals open. I slapped the magazine closed. "Oh fuck." I hissed.

"What?" Jotaro asked.

I immediately thought about Mister Joestar. And how he said that they don't leave anything to the imagination in American porn. "This is quite—I don't think..." I struggled to find the words. I was interested, I was, but I was more shaken. I flicked to another page. This one was tamer. A younger girl, early twenties, in tasteful pink lingerie. Her exposed breasts were poking out of the top of the bralette. This was easier to see; I had seen breasts before; hell, I even had some, they were just much, much smaller. I admired the model before reading the article.

"Ten ways to keep a stronger erection, for longer." I read.

"I don't want to hear this." Jotaro moaned.

"Number one! Eat a healthy diet, with plenty of fruit, vegetables, whole grains and..." I didn't know the word. "I'm not sure what this says."

Jotaro sat up. "Pass it here." I handed him the magazine.

His eyes shot open as the first ring he saw on the page was the huge, round breasts of the female model. "Good grief." He said under his breath. He skimmed the article. "...legumes." He said.

"What is it?" I didn't even try to say it.

"It's like beans and shit, sometimes nuts..." Jotaro's voice trailed off. "They really do show it all, huh?"

I smirked, thinking I got him interested. Jotaro turned over the page. "Fucking hell!" He hissed. I looked over at the page. A woman was bent over, spreading her asscheeks apart, exposing her engorged anus.

"Oh, Christ." Jotaro flicked back to the other page, the colour drained from his face. He handed me back the magazine. He didn't say anything. I put the magazine back. I'd seen enough. But underneath was a magazine featuring all Japanese models, but the magazine was in English, made in America.

"Hey, check this out..." I began.

"I think I've seen enough." Jotaro interrupted.

"No, this one is all Japanese girls." Jotaro looked over. I sat on the end of the bed and looked at the magazine. Some of the subheadings disturbed me, for instance, "slutty, young Japanese schoolgirls, and seductive, lusty geishas." That's the women Americans are sexualising? Our teenagers and our entertainment artisans? This magazine was more tasteful, likely due to its Japanese influence, but that didn't make it any less spicy. Plenty of these girls wore nothing at all, with plenty of breasts of all sizes, and some girls completely bottomless, the outline of their genitalia peaking through the mounds of black pubic hair.