Inviolable

14 - Am I losing you?

"I've never stopped; I simply forgot that I loved you. However everytime I look at you I'm reminded of how I can never stop loving you."
-Hafsa Shah

~*~

Park Chaeyoung

Today was the day of portfolio submission. The past month me and Jungkook spent the entire time in mine or his apartment working on our respective portfolios. Though we were focused on our work, the company made it bearable. The warmth, the positive inputs, critics were exchanged amongst each other, and as someone who's never satisfied with my work, this time I was proud of it.

He brings out the best in me always. Him being a perfectionist too was helpful in our tasks. We learnt new skills, sat and had coffee together sitting in each others' embrace. The time which could've been hell made it all worth it. 

I consciously dressed a little different today in the dress that Jisoo unnie recommended as she said making an impression on the external is also a must.

It was 7:30. The evaluation would start at 9 so we had time. I sat at the campus coffee shop waiting my boyfriend to arrive.

Boyfriend.

That word was still difficult to process. I blushed furiously even thinking about it. The notification bell alerted me out my thoughts, my phone wallpaper being the picture of the day Jennie took when she caught us cuddling in my apartment.

Jungkookie❤️:
Have you reached?

Me:
Ya

Jungkookie❤️:
I'm sorry I'm late baby, I'll be there in 2 mins.

Me:
It's ok I'm at the corner table near the window.

Though I didn't feel nervous after getting up, I had started to feel so now. My portfolio was inspired from Korean temple designs. The research was extensive, with me taking frequent trips around the country in a rented car. Though I went only for one day trips, Lisa always accompanied me. Jungkook was insistent on him coming along, but I would deny as he had his own portfolio to work on.

His portfolio was one of the most beautiful things I've encountered in my life. He had based on anime design, he started and based his research on the origin to present, the evolution and revolution that the art brought.

"Hey, beautiful." I didn't even had to look up to see who it was. His voice had become my favourite sound in the world. Instead I got up and hugged him tight.

"Hi handsome." I mumbled into his shirt, letting his scent calm my nervousness. He rubbed my back a little, placing a kiss on my forehead.

"Are you nervous?"

"So I couldn't sleep last night, I kept thinking of the presentation." The anxiety that this has given me is difficult to admit. Everyone in my class including Jungkook have been quite calm and collected with their approach except me. I would come up with 30 designs for a single sheet so as to not leave a page unturned. I would then sit and go through them one by one, and even during compiling check which one looked aesthetically the best and most appealing. I sighed. Our orders arrived.

"Chae, look at me." He place his hand on mine on the table. His other hand held his coffee mug. I looked at how small my hand look under his. "You're the most talented person I've met. And I'm not saying this because I'm biased." He continued before I could interrupt, proceeding to interlace our fingers. "You've worked hard on this baby, it's going to go amazingly well. I am sure of it. You have one of the most unique concepts and you've captured it in a very different light. I'm so proud of you, Chae." He was rubbing circles on the back of my palm with his finger.

"Jungkook" I was almost ready eyed. "I love you."

He stopped rubbing circles on my hand. He completely froze.

Then it hit me what I said. We had never said that to each other. I think I got two shades more red before stuttering out an apology, grabbing my bag, phone and coffee and ran out of the cafe.

What have I done?

He didn't say anything or move.

While I didn't expect him to give me any grand gestures of love, he could've atleast acknowledged it. Tears started slowing from my eyes and I rushed to the bathroom.

Then I let go shutting the main door after seeing there was no one inside. Going towards the sink, in the mirror, my unkept appearance baffled me, red nose, ruined makeup, bloodshot eyes and flushed face. Having some sense return back to me I checked the time, 8:35. I decided to quickly fix myself. Being satisfied of my appearance I exited the bathroom and headed towards the classroom.

As the presentations were bath wise, with the first hour of just me and Yeri, the petite but sweet girl of my class who always smiled at me kindly. With only her in the classroom along with two of my professors along with an external, my nervousness returned. All thoughts of Jungkook now gone I started panicking about the project.

The teachers smiled encouragingly as they told me to go ahead with my setup. I finished my setup with shaky hands, stepping back to check the positions.

"Ok, we'll start with Park Chaeyoung."

I closed my eyes and took a deep breathe.

Stand tall and smile, Chaeyoung.