Dear Michael,
Ashton holds my hand now. It feels right, but I wish it was you.
Ashton kisses me now. It feels right, but I wish it was you.
Ashton sleeps with me every right, and I wish it was you.
I wish you were here, but I can't have that. I can have Ashton, and that has to be enough.
He told me that we were like a house of cards. One card has to hold the other one up, or they both fall. He doesn't want me to fall. I don't want him to fall. But I want to fall.
My parents visited me for the first time today. My mom cried, and I cried too.
I yelled at them. I yelled at them for letting me believe you were here for so long. I yelled at them for making me come here. I yelled at them for never visiting me. And I yelled at them for ever letting me walk this horrible earth.
Ashton was there with me, and you weren't. He had to pull me away from them, just like they pulled me away from your grave.
He held me on the floor and calmed me a bit. My parents stayed and watched as I had a mental break down. Just like you watched when they made me come here.
I hate all three of you.
I hate myself.
I hate this place.
And I hate being alive.
I don't know how much longer I can keep this house of cards up.
I don't know how much longer I can be without you.
Love,
Elora
