transinnit (a tommyinnit ftm story)

chapter 9

tw/cw: sexual harrasment, panic attack

//Tommy POV//

They're talking about me. I can tell. They're pacing around and ever so often you can hear their voices crack. It's mostly Wilbur that's breaking down and you can tell Phil is trying to stay composed.

I placed my ear against the floorboards to hear what they were saying. They were trying to talk in hushed tones but it wasn't working. Their voices were muffled but clear enough that I could roughly hear what they said.

Wilbur is this. Phil is this.

-y fucking fault

"Wil we've been through this... none of this is your fault you-" Phil had tried telling Wilbur in a soft tone.

Wilbur cut him off "No Phil if I hadn't shouted at him he wouldn't of left and he would of been safe from...from-"

Now it was Phil's turn to cut him off "Mate we don't even know what happened to him".

"I think maybe you both got drunk then regretted it" Phil suggested.

"I wasn't drunk Phil... ok maybe a little but that's besides the point... what about the fact he didn't react well to being touched or the fact he didn't want you there... and he-" Wilbur stopped himself.

"And what?" Phil asked quickly.

"No-no that's it" Wil stammered out.

Phil sighed "Well I mean he could of done drugs? but don't panic mate maybe... maybe he got high and- or or he just was so drunk he didn't know what the hell was happening".

"What about him not wanting you to go near him?" Wilbur brought up.

"Maybe he was embarrassed and he didn't want me to see him?" Phil's answer sounded more like a question.

"But-" I pulled my ear away from the floor.

I've had enough of that. I'm so fucking tired of this shit. They remind me of my parents. They both fight over me but the difference is my parents don't give a shit if I can hear them or not. God they'll probably try and ring my mum to tell them I got drunk. It would be kinda funny though. I think she would probably tell them to fuck off and hang up.

I should probably think of a cover story. I mean when they ask what's happened I can't just tell them about everything. I mean I don't even know what happened myself. I could be falsely accusing a man and I'm probably making it up. I bet I got drunk and my brain is making up this horrific excuse.

Why would he? He wouldn't do that. Right? I'm lying. I'm lying. I'm fucking lying. Aren't I?

There was a couple soft knocks at my door that pulled me from my thoughts. It was followed by Wilbur asking if he could come in. I panicked and told him no. There was shuffling outside the door then he sniffled. I told him he should come back in 10 minutes and he agreed.

I shoved my bags under the bed and sat my back against the wall. I put my head in my hands and I let slip a sob. I don't think it has really caught up with me yet. The whole situation is blurry and seems like a dream. Well more a nightmare I guess?

I don't like being near Phil. He looks to much like the man. I know I can't just avoid him the whole time but I'm just scared I'll breakdown when I see him. I guess I'll just have to suck it up for now. It's not like gonna tell them the truth. No fucking way.

Though what am I gonna say to them. I could go with what Phil said. Just say I was just drunk and that I don't even remember it. I think if I mention drugs he'll go off at me again. So we'll keep it simple. I'll say I got drunk after the argument and that Wilbur knows the rest.