Kakashi x Oc I'll be waiting

Retrieval mission

The shift of bodies around me pulled me from my dreamless sleep, when I opened my eyes it was still dark above. I rolled to my side, intending to go back to sleep but found Kakashi staring up at the sky

"Not tired?" I asked, my voice coming out rough with sleep

"I am, just haven't been able to sleep yet" Kakashi said, turning to me with his eyes squinted with a smile that seemed a little fake even in my sleepy state

"Is it because of nightmares?" I mumbled and all air of a smile vanished as he opened his eyes, looking older than he did only a few hours ago

"Don't worry Amina I'm fine" He said quietly and I frowned, tugging the blanket over the lower half of my face

"Don't worry Kakashi, I'm not sleeping at all and I look sad but don't worry about me, just go to sleep and have sweet dreams" I huffed mockingly, glaring at him over the blanket as I tried to prove my point. His cheeks widened and his dark eye crinkled slightly at the corner

"Yeah yeah I get it" He drawled, the smile even audible in his voice as he rolled onto his stomach, burning his face in his pillow. I mimicked him but leaned my head to look over at him

"I get them too ya know, sometimes they're so vivid it hurts to wake up even though I'm leaving it behind. Sometimes Jiraiya even has to wake me up because I scream" I murmured, watching as he shifted to look at me as well

"I was worried that if I had one with you here I'd scare you. It's upsetting to know you get them just as bad" He explained quietly and I leaned up on my arms, puffing out my cheeks at him

"You weren't sleeping because of me? I don't care Kakashi, if anything, isn't it better to have others around." I questioned hotly

"I don't know" He muffled into his pillow and I realized that Kakashi never had anyone to wake him up the way Jiraiya woke me. I sighed, sinking down onto my pillow as well, thinking of how to help. I stopped when I felt a hand on my head and glanced over seeing Kakashi smiling over at me, another real one

"It's really okay, I handle them just fine by now. You don't need to worry too much" He hummed but I just frowned deeper, not liking how easy I was to read

"When I come back, I'll get a house right next to you.. And I will get so good at my sensor abilities that I will be able to come and wake you up if you are having a nightmare" I explained quickly earning a soft laugh from the man next to me

"Yeah, alright" he agreed softly.

"But you gotta help me too, okay? If I ever get a fever" I said so quiet I knew he wouldn't have heard if it wasn't so quiet outside

"You still get bad ones?" he asked, I kept quiet for a moment. I had unintentionally brought up a subject I wasn't sure I was ready to talk about again. I hadn't had a fever in a long time and the last one was mild, but the moment I thought of fevers my mind drifted to that cold inn that still haunted me. Jiraiya had promised not to tell the Hokage about the time in the Land of Iron but was I brave enough to share the information myself? I never wanted to hide anything from Kakashi, it just always seemed like something to share in person but now he was in front of me I was frightened. That moment when I gave up still brought enough shame that it made me feel ill.

"I had one, I just-" My voice caught in my throat and I saw a flash in Kakashi's dark eye. How could I say that to him when his father had taken his own life, when he himself had suffered so much and still stood strong. I buried my face in my pillow and shook my head

"You don't have to say" He said consolingly

"You are so much stronger than I am Kakashi sensei" I muffled into my pillow feeling tears sting my eyes