For the Want of the Sun • Zuko

chapter three: The Boy, The Bear, and The Boomerang

The winds of the South Pole are cold, and the sky is vaster than I've ever seen. We've been sailing for days straight now, too far from any port to stop and reload. The ocean carries us farther with its waves, and I feel as if we will sail too far, and tip off the edge of the world.

It has been three years since we left the Fire Nation, and not short ones. The time does take its toll: the endless days out at sea, searching aimlessly for the lost airbender. But it is beautiful, too, more so than I could've imagined. The Fire Nation is beautiful in itself: the bright sun, the rolling hills, and the glistening waves. I find myself missing the peacefulness of the palace garden and the warmth of the air. But I try my best to quell those yearnings, for they lead only to memories that I would rather not remember. They are empty and lacking: memories of summer, of playtime and childhood. Things that have come and gone, and that I am now left without. So I choose to love the world, and all its beauty that is revealed to me day by day. The South Pole may be the most barren place we've traveled, but it is still beautiful. The icy oceans seem to go on forever in a blanket of blue and ivory, and the glaciers seem to be hiding secrets. The wind is biting, and I snuggle farther into my coat.

It is late morning when Zuko emerges, already grumbling and irritated. He's been like this a lot lately, really ever since we left. Our friendship has certainly dropped in the ranks of his priorities, and I wonder some days if he even cares for it at all. It sometimes feels like I am only a servant to him, that our years of memories and warmth and attachment have faded into dust. But then, sometimes, I see a glimpse of the old Zuko. The one that asked to hold my hand and rested his head in my lap, the one that taught me swordplay and smuggled me fruit tarts. I see him occasionally: in a fleeting glance or whisper of my name, in the gleam in his eye that is not marred by a crimson scar. Sometimes I think he wants more, and that he remembers. But then he turns around and he is the banished prince again: all bitterness and fire and barked commands.

I sit with Iroh, playing a game of Pai Sho. He has done his best to teach me the rules, but I'm afraid I'm not the best partner. It is inevitable when he wins, and he beams.

"Well done, Y/n!" He exclaims. "I have a feeling you'll be beating me very soon."

I smile and lean back against my arms, propped up on the cushion that rests on the ship's floor. "I don't know about that," I say. "But thanks."

    "No, really!" He says. "You've improved quite a bit, a little while longer and I'm afraid you'll surpass me."

    I see Zuko over Iroh's shoulder, standing stoically at the head of the ship. He stands out among the snow: sharp armor and red fabric, all edges and intimidation. His gaze is cast outwards and I am met with his back.

    It is late morning when we see the light. It is bright and brilliant, and it bursts from the ice beyond. It's colors stretch into the sky, and I look to it with wonder.

    "Finally!" Zuko says, and he turns to face us. His eyes are narrowed, alight with determination and a bit of malice. "Uncle, do you realize what this means?" Iroh lifts his eyes from where he was arranging the Pai Sho board. "It means Y/n and I won't get to finish our game?"

    "It means my search is about to come to an end." Iroh sighs, and pushes a tile my way. Zuko scoffs, and gestures wildly at the sky. "That light came from an incredibly powerful source! It has to be him!" Iroh sighs again, and glances my way. "Or it's just the celestial lights," he reasons. "We've been down this road before, Prince Zuko, I don't want you to get too excited over nothing." I toy with the tile in my hand, carved with the symbol of air. Iroh continues. "Please, sit," he says. "Why don't you enjoy a cup of calming Jasmine tea?"

    "I don't need any calming tea!"

I snort. "You sure?"

    Zuko turns to me, and he is glaring. "Y/n, this is a big deal. I need to capture the Avatar!" He turns towards the water, where, even in the light of day,  the beam reflects delicately across the waves. "Helmsman!" He says. "Set a course for the light."