Rumors Larry Stylinson

11 (irl)

The next morning was kind of hectic for Louis. It had officially been 2 months since his mother passed away. He was really depressed today. They had a flight after lunch for heading back to LA. The managers had given Louis a tough time. They nagged him about how he needed to do better, music wise and relationship wise. Mark had lectured him that very morning, pressurizing him into writing more songs. It's like they didn't even care that he was having problems and had to deal with them himself.

Louis felt as though he was gonna explode. Every bit of emotions crowding his mind. A certain voice in his head telling him constantly that he wasn't enough, wasn't worth it, didn't deserve his fame and fans. The worst part of it all? He was starting to believe it. He'd put on a fake smile forever, only Liam knowing about everything, trying his best to do anything he could for Lou. Louis knew he shouldn't bother Liam with his problems when Liam probably had a lot going on in his life. Slowly Louis was shutting down. He was going numb. Only feeling happiness when he was around his friends, specially Harry. His Harry. Every time he was around Harry, he always seemed to be free of his usual anxiety and stress. He knew being around Harry made him better, and he didn't quite mind it.

Today was a little too much for Louis to handle, so the moment they reached back home- Harry's home he dropped his bags and went straight to the bathroom. He locked himself in and cried. He let it all out, everything he had bottled up so far, he let it go. His sleeves now soaked in fresh, salty tears, the voice in his head calling him weak, a child for letting out his emotions. He didn't care though. Louis knew it was okay to cry but he couldn't help falling for the trap the manipulative voice in his head had set.

Everything was telling him he was stupid, worthless, that he deserved all the pain he was going through. Louis couldn't control the soft groans of pain that escaped his mouth. His eyes were bloodshot red, rimmed with heavy tears and all Louis could think of was that this was his fault. He didn't wanna believe it but the voice in his head said otherwise.

The moment we entered home, Louis dropped his bags and went straight to the bathroom. Maybe he needed to go urgently? He was quiet the whole plane ride too. Come to think of it, he was quiet ever since Mark and Jeff had called him for a word. They better not have told my Louis anything. I put all our bags in the room and was going to check in on Louis when I heard muffled sobs. Shit. What had they done to him? Wait- didn't his mom pass away today 2 months ago? Oh no. And Jeff and Mark of course didn't care. I felt anger boil up in me. I knocked a couple of times.

"Lou you in there?"

I got more sobs in response.

"Louis what's wrong? Open the door c'mon"

"Go away Harry" I heard him mumble.

"I'm not leaving until you open this door and tell me what's wrong"

"Leave me alone styles, I don't want you here"

I know he didn't mean it, with everything he's been through I don't blame him. I'm going to be there for him no matter what.

"You open this door right now or I'll use the spare keys"

"What does it matter to you anyways"

"I care Louis, I might even be able to help you"

"No one can help me, not anymore"

"And why's that?"

Nothing, no response. I was getting worried. I quickly scrambled about and found the keys to the bathroom.

"Louis, honey I'm coming in"

I opened the door and the sight in front of me broke my heart. There he was, sitting near the bathtub, his knees brought up to his chest, his sleeves wet, his eyes all puffy and red. I felt like breaking down myself.

"Louis baby what's wrong? Let me help you please"

"You don't understand Harry"

"Then explain it to me love"

He sniffed and looked at me, I hugged him and he latched onto me tightly. He climbed on my lap and wrapped his legs around my torso. He cried harder and I rubbed his back which calmed him down a bit.

"Tell me what's wrong please? I promise I'll try to understand okay?"

I felt him nod against my neck and I smiled softly.

He pulled away from the hug and began explaining about what Mark and Jeff said about his songs, how they didn't care that Louis' was going through so much, how he had this voice in his head that told him bad things, about how he was worthless, stupid, ignorant and I felt so bad. It reminded me of what I went through all those years ago with my parents.

"Hey Lou look at me, look at me baby. I understand, and I'm so so proud of you for telling me. You're not alone okay? You've got Liam, Niall, Zayn and me. I'm not going anywhere. Those voices in your head? They're talking bullshit. Nothing they're saying is true okay? You're worth so fucking much, your mom is so proud of you I know it, you don't deserve this pain Louis, no one does. I know you feel like you're alone right now but trust me, you've got amazing people just waiting for you, who're never leaving you no matter what yea? I went through something like this too. With my parents a few years ago. When I came out to them, they hated me. Couldn't even look me in the eye. The only person who supported me was my grandma and after she passed away my parents kicked me out. Every time I'd introduce my boyfriends to my parents my dad couldn't care less and my mum would tell them how horrible I was, how I wasn't worth their time, how they should leave while they can. Run away from this freak she used to say. I snapped one day and they made me believe it was all my fault. My sister was in college and I'd told her every thing and right before she was gonna come home she got in an accident and uhm she got paralyzed from the waist down. For months my parents blamed me, manipulated me into believing the whole reason everything was falling apart in my family was my fault. It took so long for my sister to get back on her feet again and by that time we lost contact and I'd got my first show. My parents called me one night and I thought 'finally they're gonna apologize and accept me for who I am' but nope. It turns out they were having financial troubles and needed money. When I denied them they fed me crap, hurt me with their words, said I was a disappointment and should never have been born. I would cry myself to sleep every night, hurt myself and that's when I met Zayn and Niall. They helped me so much Lou, got me out of that hole of darkness. I know how painful it is and I don't want you go through that Louis but for that you're gonna have to let me in baby" 

I was in tears by the end of it. Just like that I told him about the most intimate thing about my life, the most personal secret I've kept. 

"Harry, I'm- I'm so sorry. I'm burdening you with my problems when you've gone through so much, I'm sorry" he cried and I did too.

"Shh baby you're not burdening me with anything. I love it when you open up to me, I'm here for you, everyone is. Calm down baby. It's okay, everything is okay" I cooed to him and I felt him relax.

"I'm sorry for crying, I feel like an idiot"

"Louis no, you're so strong, and crying just makes you stronger baby it's okay"

I stared into his ocean blue eyes as he stared into mine. Blue met Green and Green met Blue. I don't know who started to lean in first but our lips were soon connected. It was a soft kiss, full of strong feelings and it was at that moment that I realised I loved him. I love him, me, Harry Styles, loves Louis Tomlinson.

We pulled apart and I stood up as did he and we fell asleep spooning each other. He was everything I could wish for and more.

anddd thats chapter 11!

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