Burntout- Techno Angst

2

Techno racked his brain for a new video idea. His mind raced with possibilities, but none of them seemed quite right. The ideas few by so quickly, he didn't have time to analyze them. Realizing he was panicking, Techno quickly forced himself up from his bed and paced around the room.

"It's fine, it's fine, it's gonna be fine..." He whispered to himself. Thankfully, this seemed to calm him for the time being. He would think about the project later when he felt more stable.

With another laboured sigh, Techno made his way into his kitchen. It was small and homely, a dark room accented with a salmon color. To an outsider, it didn't seem like much, but to Techno, it was perfect. Techno drummed his fingers on the counter, admiring his space. Giving it a smile of approval, Techno turned back to what he came into the kitchen to do in the first place. He opened his fridge with a dramatic grand gesture and peered inside. He knew he needed to go shopping, but didn't realize just how low on food he was.

"Shit." Techno grumbled, his mood ruined. He walked out of the room and tugged on a jacket that previously laid on his couch. He then grabbed a few more essentials and trudged out of his house, feeling anything but excited.

...

Techno entered his local grocery store, donning a black face mask as he did so. He never minded wearing the mask, in fact he actually kind of enjoyed it. It made him feel safer, more secure, even hidden from the world. To top it all off, the mask communicated to others "Leave me alone, I don't want to speak to you!" which was always a plus in Techno's mind.

Now that he was in the store, he made his way to his favorite aisle. Techno knew this store very well, and it had been the same since he had moved here a few months ago. But as Techno made his way through the store, he realized that something was off. No, no, no, this couldn't be right.

The store had been rearranged.

For the average person, this was nothing but a minor inconvenience, something they would groan about before asking a worker where the bread had been moved to, but for Techno this was nothing short of the end of the world. There wasn't really a reason behind his frenzy, just noise. Indescribable noise.

The lights were suffocatingly bright. The tag on his shirt felt like it was rubbing his skin raw. Breathing became painful and scarce. No, no, no, not right now. Not right now. Not right now. Why did he feel this way?! What was so wrong with him that he felt so panicked at such a minor thing?!

He hated himself for feeling like this. He hated himself for letting it happen. He hated himself just for the sake of hating himself.

The world spun and spun, and finally Techno ducked out of the aisle he was in and into an empty bathroom stall a few yards away. Techno cried. He was crying in the middle of a fucking grocery store. So much for having self-respect.

As the world spun more and more, Techno's sobs turned into pained hums and his body rocked back and forth while his hands pounded into his head over and over again.

He always seemed to find himself in this position.