THE WHITE ROSE PAINTED WITH BLOOD

xlv - poem 5; i reached you, wonderland, the love of my life

a montra after reaching wonderland...
(key: in alice's reality a montra is 26 days)

sㅤpㅤaㅤrㅤkㅤlㅤiㅤnㅤgㅤ

bㅤㅤㅤ lㅤㅤㅤ uㅤㅤㅤ eㅤ

blooming barely breathing windflowers
swirled with winter wonder

barely
breathing

ㅤㅤㅤbarely
ㅤㅤㅤalive

but it's enough, alice thought,
maybe it's barely enough but
enough. it's better than who i was.

i reached you,

wonderland

you are the love of my life

they lay in a meadow of yellow lavenders
alice and the girl she loved
staring at the silent skies
where at last
a heartbeat echoed in her hollow chest
covered with her robin's egg blue dress

i'm no longer afraid
of falling asleep because
i know it would be
more than a dream
and that i'll meet you
in my dreams, my
darling. i used to
wrestle with insomnia
every night in the gray
asylum until my
bones turned to lead
but now your warmth
fills my veins with
blue primroses and
blush orange camellias
that smell like wind

the wind flicked gold liquid into their eyes and the rain blew the water away

rose petals painted with crimson tangled in alice's strawberry gray hair

staining her heather beige skin and faded blue dress

wonderland is wanderland

in the world alice used to dwell
of ringing gunshots and raging crowds
where you're put into a prison cell
for being insane
ㅤㅤㅤㅤhomosexual
ㅤㅤㅤㅤweak
ㅤㅤㅤㅤbrave
ㅤㅤㅤㅤpassionate
ㅤㅤㅤㅤworthless

but now wonderland is here
and alice is there to stay

maybeㅤmaybeㅤmaybe

ㅤmaybeㅤmaybeㅤmaybe

maybeㅤmaybeㅤmaybe

ㅤmaybeㅤmaybeㅤmaybe

maybeㅤmaybeㅤmaybe

ㅤmaybeㅤmaybeㅤmaybe

i can finally dare to dream

maybeㅤmaybeㅤmaybe

ㅤmaybeㅤmaybeㅤmaybe

i can finally bare to scream

scream until the world moves under my feet until the stars shatter until all the tears in my soul explode into a hurricane

because i know, darling, that even when i splinter you are my anchor that will remain

your periwinkle hair is a galaxy and your coral blue eyes a mystery

your skin is the color of soil and in the cracks between our skin spring blooms

you are my wonderland in
wonderland, of bliss kissed
rooves of summer indigo
where cats and dogs cuddle
under a scarlet winter sun

let's run off the world together,

to drown into the sea

where forests bloom for you and me

and together we can be