Edith Halifax

Anxious

I could hardly sleep that night due to my excitement. "Why am I so thrilled to see another families estate?" I thought. I knew unconsciously something in my heart had been captivated by their family, by their relationship, by their friendliness and kindness. And almost without hesitation I realized right then, most of the evening my eyes had fixed their gaze on Mr Landry playing with his daughter. And as I crawled into the massive canopy guest bed and pulled the curtains shut, I said a short prayer.

"Dear gracious God, I know I'm not deserving of a perfect life. I know I'm not exempt from pain and trials. But please, be it your will, give me the discernment to be prudent and wise. And help me not to be too hasty with my affections as my heart yearns for the affections of others, amen."

"Good morning, Miss," said the maid Annie as she walked in my room carrying a tray of food.
"Good morning, Annie," I said as I grabbed a canopy curtain and pulled it open.
"I brought breakfast. I didn't know what you'd like so I did a little bit of everything," she said.

The tray was full of coffee, tea, ham, eggs, tarts and fruits.
"Thank you, Annie. I do believe I won't fit into my dresses for much longer the way I get fed here," I said laughing.
"Nonsense, Miss. Your size is one to be quite proud of. Some women need corsets to have a figure like the one you possess," she said as she opened the rest of the curtains.
"You're too kind," I said honestly.
"I only speak the truth," she said with a smile.
"But I best be getting back down to clean up breakfast. Ring for me when you've finished and I'll come help you ready yourself for the day."

After breakfast was over and I was all ready Aunt Marie knocked on my door.
"Come in," I said.
"I just wanted to see if we were equally dressed, I don't want to over do it," she said.
"If you're worried I'm worried," I said as Annie finished tying a ribbon through my hair.
"Nonsense Edith, you look ravishing as always," said aunt.
"I feel nervous," I said sheepishly.
"Why? It is only the same people that were here last night. Their is no reason to be nervous," said aunt.
"What if I say the wrong thing, or what if I spill something on myself," I questioned.
"Then I'll blow a horn and announce 'The Country Girl Soiled Herself," she said laughing.
"I'm serious," I said with a smile.
"Edith, I am one hundred percent sure that you are the most well versed, polite, sincere person in this house, so if YOU fear making a fool of yourself I am worried what you think of me."

I smiled as I realized how highly my aunt truly thought of me.
"Thank you Aunt Marie, you truly are a beautiful soul."
"Yes, yes, yes.. now come and help me choose what necklace to wear with this frock," said aunt fussing over the pins that held up the lace wrap around her shoulders.

Just as we finished getting ready Aunt Marie looked faint.
"Oh dear, please pass me my smelling salts," she said as she sat in her chair.
"What's the matter Aunt?"
"I'm suddenly not feeling so well," she said.
Slightly relieved I shrugged my shoulders, "oh well, I guess we'll have to cancel our luncheon,"
"Nonsense, I will stay here and you will go," said aunt. My heart dropped at her statement.
"B.. b..bbut...why should I go if you cannot?" I said nervously.
"Because dear, they will have planned for us, it would be rude for us both not to go, now go and fetch your cape so you keep warm," she said wisely.

As I climbed into the carriage to leave my heart pounded heavily as I thought of different conversation topics. "Ugh what is wrong with me? Why am I so nervous?" I thought.