One Week In August

Chapter 2

Wednesday, August 23rd

It's 1 am and Phupha is well on his way to being spectacularly drunk. Nam came to the city to get some supplies for the clinic he runs in the village and decided Phupha needed a night out (he didn't) and that it would do him well (it doesn't). They're sitting in a noisy street bar drinking a sticky sweet, bright green concoction, and he feels sloshy, unfocused, and terribly uninhibited. Which is the only explanation he has as to why he tells Nam about the boy from the park and how he's the most beautiful thing he's ever seen. He regrets it the second the words leave his mouth.

"Alright, alright, wait a minute. You saw a guy in the park and now you have a crush on him like a teenager pining in the schoolyard?" Nam asks, one eyebrow raised high and a look of utter incredulity on his face.

"I don't have a crush, I just said he's...interesting." Phupha replies, pinching the bridge of his nose and cursing himself for even mentioning this. "I don't know, forget about it," he continues and takes another shot.

Nam groans. "Phupha, you're over 30 now. Please do me a favour and get yourself a guy. That guy if necessary. Just talk to him! It's really not that hard, the worst thing that could happen is he's not interested, but then you can move on. You'll only be here until Sunday anyways, so you won't even have to wallow in shame for too long if he says no," he says, the gentle exasperation of years of telling him the same thing clear in his voice.

It's easy for him to say, Phupha thinks. Nam was always the more outgoing one, easy to get along with, a people person through and through. In his youth, Nam had a stream of girlfriends, managed to go out with the prettiest girls despite being a poor kid from a rural area, but his easy smile, good-natured humour and handsome looks still made him attractive. Meanwhile, Phupha had a crush on a guy who sold fruit at the market on Saturdays that never went anywhere, had his first kiss at 21, never had a proper boyfriend and his smile usually comes off tense. Nam has a wife as beautiful as a model who's currently pregnant with their first daughter. He always tries to push Phupha to be more open, to go out and meet someone, has even forced him to get a profile on a dating app once, but with his infrequent Wi-Fi connection it was pretty much pointless.

"What would I even say to him?" Phupha mumbles, staring down into his glass.

"Maybe something like: 'Hello, my name is Phupha, I'm a grumpy old guy obsessed with forests and also you, so please marry me,' " Nam says with a cheeky grin, mimicking his gruff, dejected voice.

Phupha glares at him. "Stop messing with me, Nam."

"Or how about, ' Hey, I'm Phupha, I'm a 33-year-old virgin desperate for some d-' "

"I'm not a virgin, Nam, goddamnit."

"You might as well be. How long has it been? Two years, three?"

"....Try four," Phupha grumbles, embarrassed and a little defeated. It's been a while, alright. He's not really the type for a one-night stand, much less for completely anonymous hook-ups, and he's starting to think he wouldn't even know how to do it anymore should the chance ever present itself again. Opportunities are rare for him as a gay man living in a village with less than a hundred people and his reservedness usually prevents him from approaching anyone when he's in the city or traveling for a project. He knows he's still decent looking, his body's still in shape, but he's also not getting any younger. What would a guy like Tian, who's probably significantly younger than him and obviously very attractive, even want from him? When all is said and done, he's nothing more than a poor, moderately successful photographer with communication issues. And self-esteem issues. And a lot of other baggage he doesn't want to unpack right now (or preferably ever).