One Week In August

Chapter 5

Saturday, August 26th

When Phupha leaves his hotel on Saturday, the rain has dissolved overnight, leaving the morning misty and humid, crystal droplets of water clinging to petals and leaves and to the blades of grass beneath Phupha's feet as he makes his final trip to the park.

After Tian left the day before, Phupha spent the rest of it in the conservatory, capturing the intricate iron structure and the play of light and shadow it created on the palm branches. He stayed there long after sunset, both fascinated by the changing patterns and colours and desperate for a distraction. Anything to stop himself from thinking of Tian and the fact that he just let him slip right through his fingers.

Later that night, back in his hotel room, Phupha went through his camera roll, scrolling through hundreds of shots, pre-selecting the best ones, and did some light editing in preparation of handing his results over to the tourist board and finishing his job. He was proud of his work. His pictures highlighted the natural parts of the park breaking through the planned perfection, the way nature will thrive and conquer and find its way, no matter how much you try to tame it. He managed to include a part of himself into this rather commercial project, despite its unfamiliar objective.

He worked on his laptop deep into the night, busying himself, doing everything he could to not think about him. But it took all his willpower to leave the folder named "He" unopened, that seemed to demand his attention the entire time. He hovered over it again and again, wanting to look at the only two pictures in there, unpolished and imperfect, yet more beautiful than all the others. Each time, he held back, knowing it would only remind him of his failure. But eventually, past 3 am, when he could barely keep his eyes open anymore, and fatigue finally overpowered him, just before closing his laptop, he renamed it. "Tian." It felt like a last, desperate act to preserve the memory of him.

****

Phupha works methodically today, going through his list of places that he thinks he should give another try, keeping his mind busy and his thoughts occupied with work. He goes back to the main entrance, wanting to take new pictures of the large, ornamented gate that's supposed to adorn the front of the park's new website, then makes his way over to a meadow where a group of people is flying their kites, the colourful paper turning translucent under the sunlight.

The park is bustling today. There are families on an outing, children chasing little dogs around, couples strolling along the flowerbeds hand-in-hand, a few artists sketching their surroundings, and a woman playing a beautiful tune on a violin. But Tian isn't there, no matter where Phupha goes.

He knew Tian wouldn't be here. Schools are closed over the weekends, so there's no reason for him to come and have his lunch at the park on his day off. Still, Phupha can't help but raise his eyes from the camera again and again, looking around to see if maybe, for some reason, Tian did decide to come back. Quietly, he hoped Tian might feel the same desire to see Phupha again as he feels for him.That the morning they spent together is as etched into his memory as it is into Phupha's, that he already misses their banter and shared laughter as much as Phupha does. He hoped that Tian felt the same connection between them that Phupha felt, and that it would draw him back here. But evidently, Phupha's hopes were in vain.

He finds another tree shrew close to where he saw the one on his first day here, and wonders if it's the same animal looking at him from where it's perched on the branch of a tree next to the luscious bougainvillea. He raises his camera to take its picture, just for his own amusement, and the little mammal perches up as if to pose for him. It's silly, but Phupha thinks that it looks as if it wants a second chance at having its picture taken. If only he could get a second chance. With his camera still raised, but the shrew in the viewfinder almost forgotten, he ponders what could've been. If only he could go back to Monday and approach Tian right then and there to give themselves more than two days, If only he'd get another chance to pluck up the courage to ask for Tian's number, and if he'd like to have dinner with him some time. It could've been so simple. Yet Phupha's inhibitions, his own insecurities, and fears, made it complicated, made it take time. Time they didn't have.