Chapter 19 - Fabricated Truth

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Update is here! Whooooop! 

The list I promised you is included. It's for you to have your input and tell me what you want to read where fantasies are concerned ;) Anyone remember those types of multiple choice books as a kid that linked you to different versions of a story depending on which option you chose? It's something a bit like that, kind of! Just for some fun ;) 

Thank you so much for all your votes, reads and support! Hope you enjoy this chapter! 

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Phone sex - it wasn't the first time we did it in the passing weeks. Our night time liaisons have sent my mind into a sexual frenzy that runs wild during the day and by night is ravenously released. The list I'd mentioned in playful conversation was sent one night with a hammering heart. I'd never spoken to anyone in such a way, but with Alan I felt I could.

• I want to have sex in your car

• I can't believe what we did at that party. It was so exciting. I hope it isn't the last.

• Can we take a long hot bath together?

• I want you to take off my clothes when I least expect it - play with me.

• Unzip your pants whenever you like. I'd love to be of service.

• I'd love you to tie me up, blindfold me...

• The thought of you fucking me hard is as desirable as the thought of soft, slow morning sex.

• I want to watch you masturbate.

They were getting more explicit, taboo. Could I? When I said I'd give him a list I was speaking hypothetically, but now that I'd started, my deepest fantasies had surfaced.

• 69 me?

I'd be lying if I said hadn't thought about anal with you. Each time we shower together and you're against my backside, it excites me.

I blushed as bright as a cherry tomato and jittered with nerves until he responded.

"My my, you naughty little thing. Just wait until I get ahold of you xx"

Not all of our phone calls took the sexual route. Alan is always asking how I am, what I've been working on, what inspired me today to get up and paint, how the theatre is going...

"You're a great muse," I told him last night.

"As are you m'dear."

The fact that someone like me could inspire someone like Alan is incredibly touching. He said my wonderfully free spirit inspired him, my artistry, my smile - that I could light up a room. Charming man. Alan would much rather talk about me and my dreams and aspirations than himself which for someone in the spotlight is refreshing. Even some of the broadway stars I've met since I've worked at the theatre have let the stage get to their head and that's before they've made a big name for themselves. Could you imagine if they ever ended up in Hollywood. It's a full-blown recipe for a narcissist.

Alan was in London for meetings to direct an upcoming play called, 'My Name is Rachel Corrie.' Knowing he'll have to leave again before he'd even returned to New York pulls at the heartstrings, but we'll jump that bridge when we get there. At least, that's what I keep telling myself. I didn't want to mention it - not yet. The last thing I wanted was to come across as needy, especially when he seemed geared up for a change. As much as he had enjoyed filming the Harry Potter movies, he was ready for the last instalment to be released next month and to be sent out into the universe. He said it was time to get back to the theatre, which really for him was like a religion.

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