Still Into You | WROETOSHAW

P R E F A C E

Seven years earlier...

"What do you mean you're moving to London?"

Confusion and hurt overwhelmed me as I sat on the edge of the bed in my boyfriend's bedroom, trying to process the information being relayed to me. Tonight was supposed to be our weekly date night, though the mood had now shifted entirely. 

He shrugged lightly, spinning left to right slightly on his desk chair, one that had been replaced one too many times. My brows furrowed at his casual demeanour as if he hadn't just dropped a huge bomb right here in this little room.

"It's gonna be good for my Youtube, it's where everyone is. I have friends there."

"Harry... you're seventeen, isn't this a big step?"

I watched as he scoffed and rolled his eyes, "You've never supported this."

My palms grew sweaty and I felt a pang of anger, "You know that's not true. I've always been there for you, even when everyone at school gave you crap for it."

Harry and I's relationship had an interesting origin story; we had started out as two kids paired together by the dreaded seating charts of secondary school. We were definitely opposite in personality, my brain constantly ticking over and trying to get all of my work done in our allotted time whilst Harry kicked back and fooled around, throwing paper bombs and flicking my hair annoyingly, yet somehow he still came out with good grades. It used to infuriate me.

It wasn't that I was popular, or that he was unpopular, but our friends certainly didn't mix; so it was to no surprise that there was teasing from both parties once we actually established a friendship after a while. He was the slightly unhinged but funny kid with a Youtube channel and I was the girl who took school a bit too seriously.

Our friendship was kept under wraps for a while until things started to feel different. When Harry would come over to do homework or to just watch TV, I felt myself wanting to be closer than on opposite sofas or either end of the bed. I could never figure out what the goofy kid had done to change the way I saw him and make me suddenly feel shy. I remember suggesting a horror movie one evening to test the waters and the boundaries of our friendship, the rest is history.

Three years and some teasing later, we had a steady relationship and I liked calling him my boyfriend, why did things have to change?

"It's the best thing for me right now, Amelia."

"And what about me?"

It was selfish, I know... but he was being selfish, too.

His expression remained unreadable as I waited for an answer, twiddling my thumbs in anxiety. I wasn't sure what I was expecting but anything would be better than the unbearable silence engulfing the bedroom.

"I've heard long distance doesn't really work..."

My stomach sunk at his words and I could feel tears stinging my eyes, threatening to fall. I blinked them back and bit the inside of my lip for a brief moment, trying to contain myself. This was my worst-case scenario being played out right in front of me. 

I hardly recognised the boy in front of me, the boy who normally wouldn't say boo to a goose was now taking my heart and picking away at it bit by bit.

"So I guess that's it, then? You've just decided?"

"Amelia..."

"No, Harry." I held my hand up, "It's fine. You've made your decision and it's clear that you've not even considered the possibility of me being in this new future of yours after everything. So, good luck with it all, I won't be keeping up with it."

Finding the strength to get up from the bed, I left without giving him a second look. Wiping the tears that had now fallen onto my cheek, I mumbled a quiet goodbye to his mother and left, running home as fast as I could, hurt and heartbroken.