CHAPTER 32: Difficult Decisions

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CHAPTER 32: Difficult Decisions

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CHAPTER 32: Difficult Decisions

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06-Dec-2018

Dear Ella,

You harassed some poor innocent fellow thinking it was me?

I'm sorry but I laughed a little too much at that- until the joke was almost worn out thoroughly and then I laughed some more when I recalled it wasn't a joke but reality.

My roommate thought I was having an aneurysm and rushed over to check on me only to leave after throwing around a few choice words when he figured I was only dying of laughter.

How can you make my day better even with your silly little errors? It's unreal.

I do remember the project partner you talked about, I'm surprised you transitioned from thinking he's "a piece of work" to "nice and sweet '' that's quite a bit of progress, not to mention- the date. It sounds pleasant.

I didn't realise shooting each other and hanging from ropes are now considered dating activities... Maybe it's been a while since I've dated and now I have reasons not to resume. Life-threatening reasons.

Your ideal date on the other hand seems really endearing- and even if it wasn't exactly what you wanted, I'm glad your first date was a lovely experience. It must have been cold, but I imagine it was beautiful too since so many places have given themselves a head start when it comes to Christmas decorations, not that I blame them, snow came early this season colouring everyone in the Christmas spirit.

I went out of campus to run an errand the day before and saw how every other place was ornamented with holiday lights. It reminded me how close this semester is to ending- that and the fact that Mom called me earlier today asking me if I was 'coming home for Christmas' I didn't have an answer for her- yet again and I felt immensely guilty.

She doesn't force me to ever do anything that I don't want to, she knows how I feel about going home but letting her down always leaves a bad taste in my mouth. I remember how disastrous last year's Christmas was, me and my brother fought the entire time, it wasn't even intentional, In fact, I was fully prepared to get along and try to understand him, but he just wouldn't allow it, it took a toll on my mom and stepdad, and even though they didn't blame me, the entire time I just felt that I shouldn't have come.

Is it wrong of me to choose the easy way out this time?

I'm not naive enough to hope it'll be different this time. I know It'll be the same, I've accepted it and it's not going to change. I just think If I don't go at least they will have an opportunity to enjoy a nice holiday.

Tell me your plans for Christmas, I'm sure they won't be as dismal as mine or at least I hope... let me live vicariously through you.

What I implied about my ex I didn't mean to offend or provoke you in any way, I apologise for assuming. You're right, I don't know you any more than you share with me and I'm not at liberty to assume. I won't from now on.

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