TW: VENT, CUSSING (a lot of cussing, pretty violently too, in a venting way), AB*SE MENTIONS, HARSH THEMES AND LANGUAGE (in a venting way)
READ AT YOUR OWN RISK, I PROMISE, I SINCERELY PROMISE, YOU DO NOT HAVE TO READ.
My Mom says you shouldn't waste your energy on negative energy.
People say that you should just let it go. Learn to let it go
Heck, even I say all the time that it's not worth it's. That they're not worth it.
But I feel that there is a certain point where you just gotta realize that it can't go on forever.
You can't always let it go.
The energy that is drained from you is far greater than the energy used to just try and make it stop.
Sometimes, it is worth it. They're not worth it, sure. But you are.
And sometimes, you just can't stand to take it forever.
You can't fucking stand it forever.
"You have to learn to let it go."
"You gotta just get over it, you can't make people make you feel this way."
"Don't let them see a reaction, that's what they want."
I know.
I know from experience.
I fucking lived through it.
I am the last person you need to be telling this.
I have the scars, mentally and physically, from what happens when I do decide to waste my energy.
When I don't let it go.
When it, when they, become worth it.
When I decide to let them see my reaction.
But I also have the scars from when I DO LET IT GO.
When I JUST DON'T HAVE THE GOD DAMN ENERGY TO WASTE.
When I don't think they're FUCKING WORTH IT.
When I'm not phased ONE GOD DAMN BIT, WITH NO HINT OF ANY KIND OF FUCKING REACTION.
WHEN I HAVE LIVED THIS FOR MY WHOLE ENTIRE MISERABLE FUCKING LIFE, AND NO MATTER WHAT YOU SAY, YOUR ADVICE DOESN'T ALWAYS WORK.
So the next time you tell not to waste my energy.
To let it go.
That it's not worth it, that they're not worth it.
To not let them see a reaction, because that's what they want.
Think.
Just think for a single damn, precious, moment,
Why someone who is so level headed,
So calm and collected,
Someone who doesn't react to anything,
Just think,
Why did they lose their temper?
Why did they become to angry?
Why did they react?
It's because,
You can't fucking take it forever.
~Sage
Words: 374
11/10/2021
