Passionate Choice

Chapter 9.10

Closely they clung to each other, unaware of the velvety romantic darkness of the tropical night around them, of the scents of blossoms, the gleam of moonlight, the distant sigh of the sea, aware only of the awakening of sensations that only each of them could arouse in the other: the delicious tingle of delicate nerve endings beneath the skin, the taste of passion on their tongues, the noontime heat of it throbbing along their veins, blazing into their minds.

"How was that?" asked Keith, thickly and breathlessly, when he lifted his mouth from hers.

"Very good for starters," she whispered shakily, still clinging to him because she seemed to have lost all her strength and could no longer stand without his support. "But I want more, much more. I want it to go on for ever and to be always available."

"Then you will have to make some commitment too," he said. "Will you stay and live with me? Will you give up all idea of going back to England to finish that doctorate? Will you fly with me to Charleston? We could be married there as soon as we can get a license."

"But you haven't proposed to me," she reminded him, laughing again.

"So I'm proposing now. Will you marry me, Selena?"

"But I thought—you've always said you didn't want to marry anyone."

"I've said a lot of damn fool things in my time," he admitted. "But if marrying you is the only way I can hold on to you, I'm prepared to do it." He jerked her roughly against him, his arms going around her tightly again and whispered into her hair, "If you don't agree to marry me, I won't sleep with you tonight or any other night. If you don't agree, it finishes the affair, once and for all. I'll move your bags out of my room and you can find another place to sleep."

"Oh, it is your room. I guessed it was." She pulled away from him. "But Why was my luggage out in it?"

"I guess because it was addressed to me by Emilio and not to you. Shall I move it out? Would you prefer another room?"

He stepped back from her and without his arms around her, without his warmth enclosing her, she felt chilled and almost rejected. The moment of commitment for her had come, she realized. Leaving Ben and following Keith to tell him she wasn't going to marry Ben, making love with Keith, giving him the freedom of her body, was not enough for him. He wanted more too. He wanted her to make much harder choice, the choice between a career and becoming his wife. Could she do it? Could she give up all she had struggled for, all she had studied for? Or could she give him up?

Standing there before him, she experienced a sudden flash of insight into a future life without him. It would be lonely, a grey desolate waste without his companionship, without his love. She didn't want such a life, that would be no life at all. She could y leave him again, and she was sure that, somehow, she would be able to take up for threads of her career along the way.

"No, don't move them out," she said, stepping close to him and lifting her arms about his neck. "You see, I would like to marry you. I want to sleep with you tonight and every night. Oh, Keith, put your arms around me and don't ever let me leave you again. Hold me, keep me for ever."