Fire on Fire

26. Because I can

Streets flew by in a blur, but Emma could barely see any of it. She sat on the bus, against the window, trying to suppress tears as hard as she could, biting her lips not to let out a single sound. Inside, she was dying.

She'd learnt a long time ago not to let anything scathe her armor, but the sole idea of never seeing Alexander again was burning her soul to no end. She was bleeding out, and she had no idea how to stop it.

It was more than a stab to her heart. It was an atrocious wound she'd once again self-inflicted. And the worst part was, as much as she forced herself to believe he would fine, Emma was well aware that she was shattering his soul along with hers.

But what else could she do? It was either comply with Nancy or let her bankrupt Alexander. She had nothing to lose, but he could not just the life he'd built, but his grandmother's house.

Alexander would have probably wanted to fight it, rely once again on his lawyer friend, hope for the impossible ... but to what use? Nancy would never give up. There was no winning with her kind.

Emma braced herself as she fought off her own tears, in a desperate attempt at pushing back emotions that were gnawing at her heart. Curled up in her seat, she could barely breathe. She covered her mouth to suppress any sound, but it was becoming impossible. She felt physically sick, as if every single fiber of her being was fighting against her decision.

It was past. It was over and done. It was time to move on again. It was easy, it ought to be. There was nothing simpler than changing, switching to a new life – she'd done that a few times already.

Giving up on Allison Healy had been easy. Being a Chloe had been fun, but leaving her behind had been just as easy. Ceasing to be a Jennifer had been relieving even. Yet this one, this one seemed to struggle, as if fighting not to be erased.

Emma Hudson was a weakling compared to the fierce Allison Healy that Daniel remembered, yet she was the most difficult one to forget. She was Alexander's Emma. That made all the difference.

Alexander's Emma was free, like she hadn't been in a long time, even hopeful at times. Like those fleeting months they'd lived together, when she'd almost seen every door open for her.

A new, beautiful apartment, something Alexander himself had designed, which meant living, daily, in a place that he'd chosen specifically for her. A new job that would give her enough to live by without having to demean herself. Even a new family that had welcomed her in without any qualms. In short, a new life.

Alexander had made her feel like maybe, just ... maybe, she had a place in this world after all. As if she could dare hope for a brighter future. And as much Emma had tried to push back the thought, part of her had pictured that future beside him.

Emma placed a hand over her heart as her breaths caught short in her throat. She was starting to feel lightheaded, her lips trembled at every attempt at holding back tears. Crying was out of discussion. Especially in public.

Emma pressed her eyelids tightly. Every single emotion was like a thousand fiery blades piercing through her heart. She gripped her sweater, as if to try and stop her heart from rumbling its dissent. It was for Alexander more than just for her, she reminded herself. All of this was for him, it was the only way to protect him from Nancy.

Part of her wanted to just call him, ask him to reach her. They could run away together, go somewhere they would be safe, finally be together out in the open. But she couldn't. It wasn't that easy for him, he had a family. She didn't have anything or anyone, but Alexander had a family, a job, friends, a whole life ... she couldn't just ask him to leave everything for her.

Yet he would, Emma knew. If she called him right now, he would drop everything for her. Emma curled up in her seat, bringing her knees to her chest. After all his promises, all his assurances, all their dreams and plans, she'd cowardly left him – again – with a small note on the table.

She could picture him outside the city clerk office, waiting for her, excited. He'd sent multiple messages, but she hadn't answered any. At last, he would go to their apartment, to inquire on why hadn't she shown up, and he would find her note together with his mother's ring. The sole idea that right now he could be there, brokenhearted, trying to understand what had just happened, was core-wrenching.

Hopefully, he would come to hate her. It would make moving on a lot easier for him. However, Emma was sure, she would never forget him.

✧✧ ✧ ✧ ✧  

When he heard a knock on the door, Alexander leaped to his feet. "Emma!" He exclaimed, hoping she'd changed her mind. Her note didn't explain the reasons for leaving, it merely stated that: All dreams come to an end. What was that supposed to mean?

Had she changed her mind? Sure, she was antsy about marrying, but she'd decided to do it quick. Had she lied? Had it been a whole ruse just to get enough time to run away? No, it couldn't be. Emma was a free bird, one that evaded responsibilities because she'd never gotten used to staying through thick and thin, but after all they'd lived together, she couldn't just leave like that.

When he opened the door, however, Alexander realized. Emma hadn't left out of her own will. "Nancy." He gritted his teeth. "What do you want?"

"To talk." She offered a sympathetic smile, as if – he thought – she knew Emma was gone. "May I?"

"No. Just spit it out and go."

"I'll make it quick then." She pursed her lips, handing him a piece of paper. "Marriage license."

Alexander frowned. "Are you crazy?"

"Well, it's simple, sweetheart," Nancy tilted her head to the side, offering him her signature snide smile, "you marry me, or your sweet little Emma goes straight back to prison. This time for a lot more than 15 years."

"She was acquitted." He spat, returning the piece of paper.

"For one crime. But she's committed a lot more. For instance, conspiracy to engage in interstate transportation and travel for prostitution, sex trafficking by fraud and coercion, and five counts of interstate transportation for prostitution."

"You're lying."

She shrugged. "Maybe yes, maybe no. You won't know unless you tell me no."

Alexander pressed his lips, pondering. "She left, you can't do anything to her."

"On the contrary, I can do whatever I want to her. And in many different ways."

He furrowed his brows. She couldn't be implying what he thought. "You wouldn't go that far."

"Try me."

He sighed, dropping against the doorframe. "Nancy, what do you want with me? You can get whoever and whatever you want, why me? Why condemn us both to misery?"

"Because I can."