Hearts Divided (A TerraXAqua Fanfiction)

Part 6: Worthy

15 minutes ago

After what felt like an Eternity of mopping floors and dusting, Terra lamented over having started at the top of several stories and having only finished one. How the heck Master Eraqas managed to keep an entire castle in order, especially when a young boy with great potential and little patience came into his tutelage, he would never know. He put down the mop, sighed and leaned against a wall next to a window. He had to admit (to himself) he was impressed with how Aqua had adapted to the role of Keyblade Master, taking charge and putting them all through their paces. How strong she had truly become. Since Aqua first came to The Land of Departure all those years ago, Terra often found himself mentally measuring himself against her, desperately striving to prove himself next to her, in knowledge, might, magic and handling the Keyblade. And often he had failed to surpass her or when he did, he was never really satisfied. At these times he NEEDED not just to be better but for her to get better with him. To surpass their past limits and to reach new heights, together. At these times long past, he thought they performed best when they did so as a team, his power and grit complimenting her speed, finesse and resourcefulness. Looking back now after all they have been through together, and apart, he began to question his own resolve for what he did and what he does. He wanted to be a full-fledged Keyblade Master one day, yes. And he wanted the power to protect people from the forces of darkness, yes. But WHY did he want that? Why does he want that now? For the sake of helping others purely for their own sake, or to repay his life-long debt to and honour his fallen master? Or perhaps to feel like he's special, or perhaps special to someone, or more specifically special to her?

Letting out another sigh, he turned and cast his gaze over the landscape bathed in the new day sun. A flash of cold blue somewhere on the grounds below before the gates caught his eye. When he leaned against the window and looked in earnest, he could just make out the figure of Aqua using her magic to make something. An ice-something. An ice sculpture. It took him a while but Terra eventually recognised the sculpture as a depiction of their reunion at The Keyblade Graveyard. Even unfinished, and looking at it from a distance, he had to admit her dedication to detail was beautiful. Her style and natural flare with magic was beautiful. Everything about her was beautiful!

Terra suddenly slumped against the window, overwhelmed by a sense of emptiness. He couldn't explain why such a beautiful scene made him feel so sad, but somehow nothing would make the hurt stop. She really had become so strong. Too strong in fact; what even was he now compared to her? An emotional buffer when she needed a morale boost? A punching bag to test her abilities? A clown to make her smile when she felt like crying? What could he ever offer her that she couldn't attain herself? She didn't really need him, not when she had Ven, Chirithy, the king or any of the others. He was never worthy of her approval. Never worthy of her.

Turning away and walking hurriedly to the nearest window with a balconette, he summoned Earthshaker to hand and angrily thrust the window open. He told himself he needed some air but he knew he didn't. He didn't actually know for sure what he needed except to be someplace where he couldn't see her.

A/N: Again it does get better for Terra. Please be patient and wait for the next chapter!