Letters to Lan Zahn

Conversations at Lotus Pier 4

Chapter 72  In Wei Wuxian’s Old Room

Lan Ying sat at a desk with talisman papers on it just thinking.

She was making more sex transforming talismans when she felt her hand pause over 2 sections.

One was length of time which she normally put a week time limit on.

The other section was for fertility.

Having 7 identical talismans almost filled out, she couldn’t help but pause on both sections.

The fertility section of the talisman was always crossed out to render her infertile in female form.

Yet, lately she’d been wondering about children. The idea of having a miniature Lan Zhan running around was popping more and more into her mind. Teaching baby Lans made it even worse.

She wasn’t sure if she was ready for it. Sizhui turned out okay, but was that because he was so little he didn’t remember some things. Lan Zhan had more of a parental hand in raising him than she did.

So many questions, little fears, doubts ran through her mind making her hesitant to fill in these 2 sections.

She’d have to stay in female form for almost a year maybe? She wasn’t sure how it would work being pregnant, then turning back into male form.

Just then, Jiang Yanli and Jin Zixuan walked past her open door.

She whispered something to her husband about girl time and asking him to spend time with the children.

He kissed her on her forehead and left, leaving the 2 women alone.

“Xianxian looks like she’s having trouble,” Jiang Yanli said as she walked into the room.

“Sis,” Lan Ying jerked her head up in surprise. She was so deep in thought that she wasn’t paying attention to her surroundings.

Jiang Yanli pulled up a chair to sit right beside Lan Ying. She gazed at the 7 talismans on the desk for a second. “Do you want to talk about it?”

Lan Ying rubbed her nose with her finger. “Maybe? I don’t know.”

“Come on. I’m here. I’m listening.”

“What was it like?” Lan Ying fiddled with the ink brush. “Being pregnant? Birth?”

“My little Xianxian is thinking about growing one?” She jokingly bumped her shoulder.

“Maybe…” The word was slowly drawn out.

Jiang Yanli smiled. “At first, you don’t notice. You go about your every day life, doing what you’ve always done. Then one day, your body starts turning on you.”

Lan Ying’s eyes widened. “Sounds scary.”

Jiang Yanli laughed. “Every woman is different. Some puke their guts out, others get nauseated and others just don’t. You might feel tired or sleepy all the time. You will pee more and at the same time be constipated or have diarrhea. Your breasts will ache, be tender even sore. Your ankles and feet might swell up. As your belly gets bigger, you’ll have problems getting comfortable and if you drop something forget it.”

Lan Ying’s eyes were wider than they had ever been.

“You’ll also cry at the drop of a hat. Then, waver between being so horny you’d practically rape your husband to being so irritated that you don’t want to be touched.” Jiang Yanli laughed. “Then pushing out the baby feels like you’re taking a huge shit with at least 3 other women in the room watching you cry, scream and yell for hours.”

“That sounds horrible! Why do people reproduce?” Lan Ying was horrified.

Jiang Yanli laughed again. “Because with every change in your body, you know that you’re growing something precious. A little being that’s a combination of you and your husband. A physical representation of the love you feel for each other created such a tiny beautiful thing. All that suffering, those uncomfortable body changes, the pain is worth it. When you feel that first kick, when you get to see and hold them for first time. When they open their eyes, smile at you and reach for you. It’s worth everything.”

Lan Ying laid the brush on the table. “I’m thinking about it, I just don’t feel quite ready yet.”

“Talk it over with Lan Wangji.  I know any partner would be happy to know that their spouse is thinking about children.”

“Can you tell me a few moments? You know, just for example.”

“I scared him once. I burst into tears for no real reason, the flowers just looked so pretty that day. He thought something was wrong. One time when my feet swelled up and couldn’t fit in my shoes, he suggested a bigger size, and I threw one of them at him. Another time, he accidentally brushed across one of my breast and they were so sore, I slapped him. And I was so horny one night I was fully prepared to have sex with him while he was sleeping.” She tapped her chin in thought. “There are a few more stories that I refuse to tell. They’re really really private.”

“I can’t imagine slapping Lan Zahn, even in jest. Pregnancy sounds more like possession. Like you’ve been taken over by a parasitic fruit or something.”

Jiang Yanli laughed loudly. “It is, isn’t it?”

Lan Ying laughed with her. In fact, they were laughing so hard that the sound of the door slamming shut startled them both.

They looked towards the door only to see Nie Huaisang leaning up against it, huffing and puffing out of breath.

He put two of his fingers up against his mouth, making a shh sound at them.

“Nie Huaisang, I’m going to beat the shit out of you!” Jiang Cheng could be heard yelling out in the hallway.

“What’s going on?” Jiang Yanli asked.

“What did you do?” Lan Ying asked.

He twiddled with his fingers. “I merely suggested that since he’s an angry little purple grape that’s been barred from the matchmakers, that if he at least masturbated twice a week, it might make him more pleasurable to be around. I even told him that he could borrow my porn collection or buy a toy if he has problems.”

The women began snickering.

“I wish I could’ve been there to see his face!” Lan Ying practically fell out of her chair laughing. Jiang Yanli wasn’t any better.

Neither of the 3 noticed that Lan Xichen had joined Jiang Cheng in the hallway, trying to find out what was going on.

Jiang Cheng was still cussing and yelling before he kicked the door in, shoving Nie Huaisang into Lan Ying’s desk.

“Help me!” Nie Huaisang squeaked at the two.

“I’m going to kick your ass!” Jiang Cheng yelled stepping through the split door, Zidian snapping purple on his hand.

Nie Huaisang grabbed the papers on the desk, using a little qi to throw them at Jiang Cheng.

“No!” Lan Ying yelled.

Most of them hit the door frame, Jiang Cheng got smacked in the face with one and another flew through the broken door.

“You think paper is going to stop me?” Jiang Cheng still was yelling as the 3 watched in morbid fascination.

His face slowly became rounder, his voice slightly higher. His waist shrunk in, revealing rounded hips. His chest began growing out and out. And out.

A decorative lotus button hidden in the fold of his main robe to keep it closed was revealed. Then, popped off, hitting Nie Huaisang in the eye!

“My eye! My eye!” He sobbed as he covered it.

“I haven’t even touched you yet! Why the hell are you screaming?” Jiang Cheng yelled.

“Your button blackened my eye!” Nie Huaisang screamed back. He lowered his hands, showing a purple bruised eye.

Jiang Cheng was flabbergasted. “My button?” He looked downed and screamed. It echoed down the halls of Lotus Pier making a flock of birds take flight. “WHAT THE FUCK?”

Lan Xichen stepped through the broken door. “I’d like to know as well.”

Lan Ying’s jaw dropped open. Jiang Yanli covered her mouth and Nie Huaisang passed out. Jiang Cheng was still screaming, but for an obviously different reason.