teenage dirtbag

VIII: eddie

Dear diary: I'm gay. Oh my God... What am I gonna do now? What the fuck am I supposed to do? I can't tell mom, and if I lose Richie and the rest for this stupid shit I swear I'm going to kill myself... I see a doctor every two weeks, but what I need is THERAPY.

Can I tell this to Richie? He's the boy I like -God that's SO CORNY-, I don't think I'm supposed to tell him...

On the other hand... They're my friends now, aren't they? That's what they said... UGH Why did I have to like him? Why couldn't I keep being blissfully ignorant? I hate this.

It was a sunny day, but Eddie's mind was clouded with yesterday's memories. When Richie hugged Eddie it was like everything fell in place. Eddie spent the whole afternoon trying to touch Richie in anh possible way. He was desperate.

Richie's room was amazing, but one thing caught Eddie's attention more than the rest: A book... That fucking book.

The Boys on the Rock by John Fox, was there, showing itself as if it was the most natural thing in the world... Eddie shivered just to remember the day his mother saw it in the local library.

"HOW DARE THEY? THAT IS A BOOK MADE FOR TEENAGE BOYS, YOU CAN'T PUT THOSE IDEAS IN THEIR MINDS! THEY ARE YOUNG AND EASY TO IMPRESS. Eddie, darling, promise mommy you'll never read that awful thing. Okay?" The old lady said as she almost dragged Eddie back to their house.

AND RICHIE HAD IT ON HIS NIGHTSTAND AS IF IT WAS NOTHING. Did that mean that Richie was, indeed, gay? Or he was just someone who enjoyed literature... Maybe he had no idea what the book was about...

Eddie didn't even notice when he started crying, this situation was so awfully inconvenient for him. Eddie just wanted a friend, why did he have to like him? And worse, actually fall for him. Because looking at Richie from afar was nice, he liked it, he was fun, his smile was pretty with his perfect white teeth, his glasses were somehow charming, and his curly hair... Don't get Eddie started on Richie's hair. It was art.

But Art is meant to be watched from afar, once you see it up close... It could mess you up, and make you gay.

Maybe his mom was right, some things can turn you gay... And those things are Richie Tozier and his stupid, annoying, terribly hot face.

Once he heard Richie's car coming, he quickly wiped his tears and ran to the door... Not without his mother interrupting him when he was halfway out.

"Aren't you gonna give your mom a kiss, Eddiebear?" She asked, as she leaned towards her son, who kissed her quickly, with his face burning red.

"Don't you want one from me too, Mrs K.?" Richie almost shouted from his car, laughing his ass off.

If Eddie was mortified then, now he wanted the earth to swallow him.

"You are SO annoying, Richie!" Eddie complained as he covered his face... He was sitting on the passenger seat now, Stan, Beverly, and Bill were in the back... He felt his chest getting warmer to think of that, Beverly was the one that used to be in the passenger's seat.

"Come on, Eddie Baby! Don't be a fucking killjoy!" Richie answered.

Eddie noticed that the environment was calmer than yesterday, everyone was singing and laughing... And Bill was there, yesterday he walked to school and Stan was so... Gloomy. He was happy they were better now.

"WELL I DRUNK A LOTTA WINE AND I'M FEELING FINE, GOTTA RACE SOME CAT TO BED!" Richie started singing, but it was different from the day before, he really meant these lyrics. "IS THERE CONCRETE ALL AROUND OR IS IT IN MY HEAD?"

"OH, BROTHER, YOU'VE GUESSED. I'M A DUDE, DAD!" Beverly joined him with the same passion.

"Oh! All the young dudes, carrying the news, boongaloo dudes, carrying the news!" Al four of them sang together.

Eddie wanted to remember that momoment for ever...

"Hey g-guys, I wan-t-ted to tell y'all s-something." Bill said. Already at school, all the losers were sitting on the football field, they decided to skip first period. Eddie was biting his nails off, but he tried to play it cool.

"What is it, Billyboy?" Beverly asked, she was resting her head on Mike's legs, sunglasses on.

"Stan a-and I are t-together!" Bill said, happily looking at his friends and his... BOYFRIEND?

"W-What do you mean, 'together'?" Eddie asked, sitting straight, feeling even more nervous than moments before.

"We're dating!" Said Stan. He had the broadest smile Eddie had seen in his entire life.

"Congratulations, guys!" Said Beverly, who sat up and hugged them. "I'm so happy you finally told us. I love you both."

Richie winked at them with a smile.

"You are a beautiful couple. I wish you both nothing but pure happiness." Mike smiled at them with sincerity.

"Love is most mad and moonly and less it shall unbe than all the sea which only is deeper than the sea..." Ben quoted.

"E.E. Cunnings?" Asked Richie, getting a excited nod from Ben. "Sweet."

Eddie didn't know what to say, he was so shocked at that moment... They were gay? And the whole group just said "okay" and moved on?

Maybe the song from the carpool that morning was right... Maybe the concrete isn't all around, maybe it was just in his head...

"I..." Eddie tried to say something, but nothing came out. "I'm so happy for you two. You are a lovely pair..."

"Th-Thank you g-guys..."Bill said, he looked so relaxed now that he could finally let himself go free.

As much as they'd like stay all day on the grass, talking, laughing and watching Stan and Bill be the two lovebirds they were, they had to go back to class... Luckily for Eddie, he didn't have to see Richie until lunch.

"Hey... Stan..." Eddie whispered at him, the rest of their classmates were leaving the room.

"Yes, Eddie? 'Sup?" Stan asked, as polite as always.

"Can I ask you a question?" He said, looking at his keds, moving his feet nervously.

"Listen, Eddie, if you are going to-"

"It's nothing negative, I promise," Eddie interrupted him.

"Okay... Go on."

"How... How did you know?" Eddie asked, he still couldn't get to look at him.

"Oh..." Stan couldn't help but smile. He looked left and right to make sure they were alone at the classroom. "With Billy it was easy... He is great, I can't ask for someone more loving, caring, sweet... He's just amazing." He explained with a big smile. "Is there anything you want to talk about?"

"You promise not to tell anyone?" Eddie whispered.

"You can count on me, Eddie. I promise."

"I... I think I might like a guy..." He didn't 'like a guy', that was a month ago, now he was fucking in love with Trashmouth Tozier.

"Oh, that's cool! Do you think he could... You know, sleep for the same team?" Stan looked weirdly worried about Eddie's declaration.

"Yes... I don't know, how do you know that?"

"Well, you kind of feel it? I guess? Maybe try to see what he's interested in... What music he listens, when books he reads, what type of movies he watches..." Stan sat next to Eddie, to be at his level. "You wanna tell me who it is? Maybe I could help you..."

Eddie remembered the book on Richie's nightstand, the posters in his room... No straight dude has a Freddie Mercury topless poster hanging on his wall.

"It's... Ugh... Fucking Richie Tozier," Eddie finally admitted, feeling like a weigh went off his shoulders.

Stan looked at him in disbelief, but with a huge smile on his lips.

"Oh, boy... This is gonna be fun."