8th installment of the VGNU.
The time has come for the infamous Super Mario Brothers to begin their journey.
Lost in a foreign world, the fate of a great kingdom rests on their shoulders.
(Originally published 2020)
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Mario and Luigi stepped out of the Warp Zone only to come face to face with a large cannon. It didn't look like any cannon they'd ever seen, considering it looked to fire from both ends.
Neither of them were experts in combustion, but having both ends open in a cannon seemed like a bad idea.
"Y' think it works?" Luigi asked.
Mario walked up to it and thumped the top of it while standing to the side. The cannon spit out a large shell with a painted face. It flew a few feet before crashing to the ground, but it definitely didn't launch very hard.
"Well I have two theories," Mario started. "Either this cannon is th' worst cannon in history because o' poor design, or..."
"Or?" Luigi asked when Mario wouldn't continue.
"Or," Mario sighed. "This is just another scare tactic, t' keep th' remainin' Toad forces at bay."
Luigi looked at the cannon. "Well, it doesn' look like a mistake."
"No," Mario agreed. "No it does not."
They kept walking, passing more dysfunctional cannons. If they got too close they'd fire, but that just told them they were set off by proximity. So long as the brothers kept their distance, they had nothing to worry about.
After the initial shock of those cannons however, Mario noticed something strange. This world... seemed relatively untouched.
There were no Toads or other animals to speak of, but the land itself seemed fine. Clear blue sky, tall green grass swaying in the breeze. It was calm here... Too calm.
"Some'n's up," Mario huffed, stopping at the top of a hill overlooking a clear lake. "This place's downright peaceful, an I don' buy it for a second."
"Yea'," Luigi crossed his arms, also looking at the still waters. "It almost looked like every world was gettin' worse, but here... We could be back in the Mushroom Kingdom."
"We've technically been in th' Mushroom Kingdom this whole time," Mario corrected. "But I get what'cha meant."
"What'd'ya thinks at th' end o' this one?"
"Same as th' rest; some poor creature turned into another clone. I doubt th' King would want t' cut this short, he is expectin' us after all."
"Maybe," Luigi nodded. "Or maybe this time we get lucky?"
"Nope," Mario started down the hill.
"Yea'," Luigi sighed, disappointed. "Didn' think so."
___
They walked around the edge of the lake, along the beaches. Large red fish swam beside them, jumping above the surface from time to time, and trees swayed above them, rustling in the wind. Even as they reached the other side... all remained peaceful.
Then they arrived at an open field that seemed to stretch out beyond the horizon. Even this was void of life. No bugs, no Goombas, no Koopas, no nothing. There was nothing but the wind at their backs, seeming to push them forward.
So they carried on, at last standing in front of the large stone fortress that was this world's castle. Inside was almost untouched, dust and ash settled on the floor but the furniture was still intact and the walls weren't collapsing. But once again, there was nothing living inside.
"Aiight what th' hell!?" Mario suddenly huffed, standing rigid outside the throne room. The door was still shut. "Where is everything?"
Luigi shrugged. "I dunno," he sighed. "But I don' like it."
"Not at all," Mario growled. "If we go in there an there's still nothin'..."
"Wouldn' that be a good thing though?" Luigi asked.
"I dunno," Mario answered, reached for the door. "But clearly we missed some'n'."
He opened the doors and looked down the hall. It was lined with torches, all the way to the back throne where the King Koopa clone was supposed to be sitting in. Instead, there was nothing, just like every where else.
"We missed some'n'," Mario growled.
"Yea' this looks like a trap," Luigi agreed. "Now what?"
Mario walked down the hall and kicked the throne. He looked up at the ceiling, expecting something to drop down on him, but nothing happened.
"Tha's it?" Luigi asked, standing next to him.
"Tha's it," Mario glared at the throne. "It's some kinda joke. Nothin' more."
Mario walked passed the throne and towards the cell door behind it. Looking inside confirmed what he expected; there was no Princess, of course, but there was no Toad either.
"All this way for nothin'?" Luigi muttered.
"Yup," Mario slammed the door, walking back. "C'mon. That just leaves one world left."
Luigi glanced around the throne room again, just trying to make sure he didn't actually miss something. Clearly there wasn't anything here, but there was a heavy uneasy feeling still weighing over both of them.
It felt like a message, Luigi decided. King Koopa was saying something, and Luigi thought he figured it out.
There really was nothing left. No more road blocks, no more games, no more diversions or jokes, there was nothing left but King Koopa himself. He was saying he was ready, and they needed to be ready too. The end was coming, and this silence said it all.
___
Mario and Luigi made their way back out of the fortress and to the next Warp Zone. It was quiet the whole way there, as expected, but when they finally reached the Warp Zone the brothers froze. There, in front of the Warp Zone, was the last thing they expected to see.
At first they simply stared at it, but after a minute...
"... Ha," Mario shook his head. "... Ha... ha... hahahahahahahahaha!!"
Luigi glanced sideways at him. "'Ey Mario?"
"This," Mario laughed. "This is th' funniest, stupidest thing I have ever seen!"
Luigi looked down at the thing sitting in front of the Warp Zone. "Looks more like an insult t' me."
"C'mon," Mario grinned. "Clearly he's waitin'."
Mario stepped over the welcome mat, entering the portal to the final world of the Mushroom Kingdom.
___
"And so they have arrived," King Koopa said, watching through the crystal ball. "Everything is in place?"
"Yes of course," the wizard bowed. "As promised."
"...Good," King Koopa shifted to sit more comfortably in his throne. "Let the game begin."
Looking back on the original game, there really wasn't much to it. There weren't even that many different types of enemies. I understand Nintendo's urge to jam as much newer content as they could into the new movie, but if you take what the original game was and look at it realistically, it all starts to feel like a sick joke.
And I thought that fit perfectly with a crueler King Koopa.
