Ghost of You

e i g h t

"Are you sure this is what you want to do?"

"Yes Nat, I'm sure."

I was lacing up my shoes, repeating the same words and answering the same questions that I had been for the past two hours.

"I know it seems sudden, but it's the right thing to do. I'm certain of it."

Nat was sitting on the twin bed across from mine, leaning forward on her elbows with her hand resting on her chin. It was early the next morning, we were all getting ready to leave the safety of the Barton's home to intersect Ultron while he was travelling. We were splitting up into multiple groups, Tony and Bruce were going to the tower to try and find Dr. Cho, while Nat, Clint, Steve and myself were doing our best to track Ultron from the air and the ground.

I had gone straight to bed after my "big announcement" the evening before. Thirty minutes or so after I had left the dining room and essentially quit the team, there was a knock on my door. I got up figuring Nat wanted to come in and sleep only for me to hear Steve calling my name quietly, asking to come in and talk. Immediately, I turned back around to my bed, ignoring him. I had nothing left to say to him, and I knew the only reason he was here now was to make some sort of forced apology, probably on Tony's orders and frankly, I had no interest in hearing it.

I didn't regret my decision to hand in my resignation. I thought I would have been panicking but it honestly just felt like the right, strategic move for me and everyone else on the team. There was no room for this kind of petty drama in the workplace. If the team could do without Steve I would have told him that he should be the one to quit but out of the two of us, I was the replaceable one. I knew it, he knew it, and everyone else knew it too. But even more so, I knew that this whole thing was becoming utterly exhausting, not to mention I was completely embarrassed by how unprofessional I had allowed myself to be since working. It was time to wave the white flag and leave before things got out of hand.

"For what it's worth, we all know he's the idiot here. Not you."

Nat said conspiratorially, seeming to have finally given up trying to get me to change my mind. I was going to miss working with her and I hoped that we'd be able to find a way to stay in touch. I chuckled smiling at her. Both of our heads turned when the door to our room abruptly opened.

"We are leaving in five." Clint informed, dressed in his full combat gear. "The family wants to say goodbye Nat, (Y/n) can you tell the others that we're heading out?"

I nodded, grabbing the last few of my belongings from the night stand and following Nat out the bedroom. I shut the door behind me, Nat turned left heading for Lila's room while I went right beginning to walk down the stairs. I had just reached the last step when I heard Tony's voice coming from the living room, the angry tone causing me to freeze in my place.

"One job. I gave you one job Rogers, how the hell did you manage to do the complete opposite of the one thing I asked you to do?"

"It's a special skill I guess."

I heard them moving around the room slightly, the clunk of Steve's shield being lifted from the floor and footsteps shuffling on the carpet. 

"Is this a joke to you?" Tony asked, annoyed.

"I screwed up what else do you want me to say?" I heard Steve, retort defensively.

"I want you to say you're going to fix this."

I knew I shouldn't be listening to this conversation but I couldn't get my feet to move, still not wanting to see Steve's face so I stayed motionless, hidden in the stairwell.

"I went to go talk to her but she wouldn't open her door. She won't speak to me, she wouldn't even look at me last night." Steve admitted. 

Well he may be an idiot but he was right about one thing. For right now he was the absolute last person I wanted to look at or speak to.