Ghost of You

n i n e t e e n

I hate eating breakfast here.

Everyone here eats breakfast like they're on a diet. The kitchen cupboards are filled with zero-sugar cereals, granola bars, and multigrain toast, the fridge contains items only like egg whites and non-fat Greek yogurt. What ever happened to the breakfast foods people actually want to eat? Where are all the muffins, or pop-tarts? There's not even mix to make pancakes or waffles. I suppose Tony didn't want his workers crashing on sugar-highs before lunch. Still, it wouldn't kill him to at least put some Lucky Charms in the cabinet. Cereal just isn't as good without marshmallows. Waking up always sucks, but it sucks a little less when you get to eat things that are essentially desserts masquerading as breakfast foods, guilt-free.

I stared into the cabinets, hoping to find some sort of food inspiration there but as usual found myself disappointed. Next time I had a day off I'd go to the grocery store, find whichever cereal has the most sugar in it, and sneak it back into the compound. For now, alas, I would have to resign myself to a protein bar. I picked one at random off the shelf, swinging the cabinet doors closed.

"Will you quit making so much noise?"

I turned around, bar still gripped in my hand. It wasn't hard to locate the sound of the voice, given that the normally buzzing cafeteria was empty besides me and the person who had spoken. It was already eight-thirty, so most everyone else was already working. Sam however, was sitting alone at a nearby table, his head balanced in his hands and his eyes screwed shut.

"You sound like an elephant digging for peanuts."

I walked over to his table, pulling out the chair across from him and plopping down it.

"Do elephants actually dig for peanuts?" I asked, peeling off the wrapper of my bar. I had been planning on eating it on my way to my desk, but eating it while talking to a hungover Sam seemed like a much more intriguing option.

"How am I supposed to know?" He replied, crankily.

I loved cranky Sam. As a person regularly, he was always bouncing off the walls, thriving on his ability to annoy everyone around him. This version of Sam was moodier and more irritable. It was a Sam I could get behind. I watched as his hands moved to the sides of his head and he groaned as he began to rub at his temple.

"I'm never drinking again."

I took a bite of my bar to hold in a chuckle, knowing it would probably only further piss him off. If I had a nickel for every time I heard someone say they'd never drink again on a particularly hungover morning my fortune would have started to compete with Tony's.

"Been there." I nod.

Sam finally opened his eyes, immediately squinting as he was forced to adjusted to the harsh light.

"I don't even know why I drank so much. That was a stupid ass decision." His tone is still bad-tempered and testy. He looks so annoyed and unlike his usual self that I have to once again force myself not to laugh at this version of Sam.

"It happens." I responded, holding back a smile. "We all make bad choices every now and then."

Sam leaned back in his chair, his arms crossing over his chest and his legs stretched out to the side of the table, fully extended.

"You mean like sleeping with Steve?"

Just like that I no longer felt the desire to smile or laugh. Just like that, cranky Sam was no longer amusing. My mouth fell open, knowing I needed to at least try and deny it but I couldn't form anything other than singular spluttered words.

"I'm- You... We- It's-"

Sam raises an eyebrow, giving me a look that says seriously? He's probably thinking it's good that I don't go out on any assignments anymore because if I were to fall into the wrong hands and be interrogated I would probably fail miserably at keeping anything a secret. All I could think is that he knows. He knows. How could he possibly know?