Ghost of You

e i g h t e e n

The thing about working where I do, is that I'm both a member of the group and an outsider. It's a strange feeling, to be apart of something but also separate from something. I wouldn't say I felt left out, not really, it was more like I had weaseled my way onto a team in which I didn't really belong. Somehow, I had found myself both on and separate from the team. I was reminded of that fact every time the team was sent out on a mission. This was in large part do to the fact that when the team was out on assignment, I was not sent with them. 

I wouldn't say I was disappointed by this. If my training with Steve had taught me anything, it was that I hated combat. In truth, a private agency that functioned like The Avengers did, survived and thrived by people utilizing and playing to their strengths. As such, there was a large division between those on Steve's team and those not. They were the heavy-hitters, the super-powered, exceptionally-trained, or technologically enhanced heroes that so often graced the front page. The much larger group consisted of purely agents, the people that laid the ground work and created the foundation that Steve's team relied on to stand. 

Then there was me. 

Ever since setting foot upstate, I had been constantly straddled in between the two groups, not gifted enough to truly be one of them but too vital a contact to be an unknown, back-end agent. If you asked a member of either group, they would probably say I was part of the other. I had been "reassured" by the team that the lack of an invitation to join on any of the missions had nothing to do with my skills or training in combat and everything to do with the fact that they needed someone of my rank to stay behind and monitor things. Still, I couldn't help but feel left behind when my entire team uprooted for days at a time, leaving me alone with other agents both like and unlike myself. 

These were the thoughts that plagued my mind in the absence of my friends and teammates. These were also the thoughts that I happily pushed from my mind the minute they returned. 

I had spent the majority of my day being preoccupied with various things, trying to keep the facility from burning to the ground while it was under my watch. In fact, I was so preoccupied that I hadn't realized the team had finally made it back home from their assignment. They had all been gone for three days, which was relatively short as far as their missions were concerned. In the back of my mind I had heard someone mention that they would be coming back to the base today but in the chaos of the normal work day, I had all but forgotten that fact. It wasn't until my phone vibrated and I read the message on the screen that I realized how much time had already passed in the day and remembered that the others would be home.

Natasha Romanoff

Celebrating mission success at the pit. Come join us when you're done. 

I laughed at Nat's abbreviation of "the pit". If I didn't know better, I would have assumed she was referencing some grungy dive bar that only served beer from a can and had toilet paper littering the floor of the disgusting and disease filled restroom. In reality, she was referencing one of the fire pits at the far eastern wing of the compound where the team had spent more than one night relaxing by the soft glow of summer flames.  

Glancing at the time, I was startled to see it was already seven. It was probably foolish, but I still hadn't gotten used to how quickly the days pass into another here. I could have sworn it was only four just five minutes ago. Still invested in my current work, I put my phone down, diving back into my self-assigned research. 

There was something unusual going on that I couldn't put my finger on. Hydra was becoming more active, making more appearances. With the end of S.H.I.E.L.D, many of Hydra's secrets were exposed. They were brought into the light then, made public knowledge by none other than Nat herself. Only their public activity hadn't increased then, they had continued to stay underground and secretive. So why the sudden frequency in their appearances? Why now? Something was still rubbing me the wrong way about the whole thing but I couldn't figure out what.