Southern Thanksgiving

The Southern states (and Maryland and District), have a tradition of spending Thanksgiving together. It took a few years to get a routine settled, but now it's all second nature.

Every year starts the same way. On Sunday, Virginia spends the entire day cleaning his house and preparing rooms for his guests. South Caroline will text around noon asking for Virginia to short-sheet North Carolina's bed for a payment of five dollars. Virginia rolls his eyes at the message, but does accept the payment and job.

Once he's finished with all the rooms, West Virginia's text comes in. He wants to know if Virginia prepared a dog bed for Baby Dog. There is, and Virginia texts back the required photographic proof.

After the rooms are ready, Virginia runs to the store. He makes the mistake of asking the Southern Groupchat for any last minute items people might need. The next two hours involve him traveling back and forth through stores as he hunts down all the items. Next year, he just won't ask and he'll make them bring it themselves. He swears it.

(When next year comes around, Virginia will forget all about his promise from the previous year.)

When Virginia finally gets home and gets all the groceries unloaded, he's exhausted. He collapses onto his couch. But he's only able to enjoy a few minutes of relaxation before the doorbell rings. The first guests of the week have arrived.

Virginia answers the door and invites Maryland and District inside. They brought pizza. One meatlovers and one pineapple. There's always a debate about whether pineapple belongs on pizza.

(Maryland ends up suggesting Old Bay as a topping. Virginia and District put their differences aside to turn on him.)

The next day, Monday, West Virginia and Baby Dog show up. He always brings the turkeys, boasting about how he caught them himself. Which also makes him the best Virginia.

Every year Maryland and District place bets on how long it'll be until the arguments start. The fastest one occurred five minutes after West Virginia walked through the door. (West Virginia had brought a cut out of Mothman and was trying to pass it off as his date). The longest was the morning after West Virginia arrived. (When it was discovered that he drew a mustache and... other doodles on Virginia in the middle of the night).

This year District won the bet, with 3 hours of peace. They were just listening to music when "Take Me Home, Country Roads" started playing. The inevitable "He's singing about me" argument started. Though this time even Maryland joined in.

If District is honest, he didn't expect that when he slipped the song into the playlists. But hey, he's coming out of it ten dollars richer.

On Tuesday more guests show up. Tennessee and Kentucky in the morning. The Carolinas in the evening.

Kentucky greets his brothers with warm hugs and lots of "How have you been?"s. He leaves his husband to bring in all the pie supplies. As he carries them in, Tennessee teases Kentucky that they only need to feed the Southern states this Thanksgiving, not the entire country.

They spend the day catching up and cooking pies. The entire house smells delicious by the time North and South Carolina show up. There's pumpkin pies, apple pies, blackberry pies, and Kentucky Derby pies.

("Oh, you mean chocolate pecan pies" North Carolina teases.
"They're called Kentucky Derby pies! Tennessee, back me up against your idiot brother"
"North, quit being an idiot.")

Wednesday the rest of the South trickles in throughout the day. Florida and Louisiana arrive first, thankfully bringing alcoholic beverages and mixers. Louisiana talks about all the drinks he's going to make.

Georgia, Alabama, and Mississippi arrive with their car full of food. There's at least eleven peach cobblers. And so much mac n cheese and sweet potato dishes and lots of deviled eggs. Virginia realizes they're going to need a second fridge.

Texas always arrives just in time to help set up the fridge. He leaves Oklahoma and Arkansas to bring in the luggage. And after he gets the fridge set up, Texas is sent to the attic to grab the box of games and puzzles so they're ready for Thursday. He's followed by Oklahoma's kitten, Mittens, who he swears is trying to get in his way on purpose. Oklahoma says he's exaggerating and that Texas is just mean. Arkansas asks if it's too early to start pouring the drinks.

(Mittens is in fact trying to mess with Texas. She tries to get Baby Dog to help her, but the old dog prefers to hang about the kitchen and wait for scraps.)

Then, finally, it's Thursday. Thanksgiving.

Virginia, Kentucky, and West Virginia all commandeer the kitchen to make the turkeys. Infiltrators get chased with wooden spoons and other cooking utensils. Louisiana is allowed in to grab supplies for his drinks. But only if Florida isn't trying to follow him.

In the morning, the Macy's Day Parade is put up on the TV. It provides background noise. The states that aren't cooking are playing games or putting together a puzzle. They talk about new things in their lives. About upcoming movies that they're interested in. Or books that had interesting plots. Somehow the conversation always comes around to their farm animals.

Georgia tries to put Christmas music on. He's immediately stopped by Arkansas. Thanksgiving isn't over yet, so Christmas music isn't allowed.

Not even the Dolly Parton versions. It doesn't matter how good she is Tennessee, no Christmas music!

Dinner is served around 2pm. District and Oklahoma set the table. The states go around and say what they're thankful for. (The Braves, the fact that the smoke alarm didn't go off this year, sweet potatoes, H.E.B., a good daiquiri, Dolly Parton, arson, pepperoni rolls, sweet potatoes. The usual things to be thankful for).

Dinner ends an hour later. The Carolinas and Tennessee clean the kitchen and dishes while the others get board games set up. Georgia swears he isn't going to fall asleep, but twenty minutes later he's passed out on the couch. Mississippi and Alabama use his stomach as a resting place for their pieces. ("It lets him be a part of the game!").

Florida will sometimes "duel" with District using the fake weapons from the Clue game. Louisiana snatches them back so that he can make his guess. Maryland disproves Louisiana's guess, and Kentucky makes a note of it. He shows his own updated theory to Tennessee. They could have this in the bag if they can just figure out the room. South Carolina thinks that the married couple shouldn't be on the same team, since it gives them an advantage. (Somehow. He's likely just annoyed that he got stuck with Alabama for a teammate.)

Texas and Arkansas end up winning. It turned out to be Professor Plum, in the kitchen, with the knife.

At 4:30 the football game starts. Texas insists on turning on the TV so that he can see the Dallas Cowboys play. This year they're playing against the Las Vegas Raiders. Oklahoma spends a few minutes researching Raider's chants to teach the others and annoy Texas.

When half-time comes around, it's time to serve desserts. Georgia bolts out of his deep slumber. He acts like he was never asleep in the first place.

Plates are filled with different slices of pie and cobbler, topped with ice cream and whipped cream. It's always delicious. A round of coffee is also served.

The football game comes to an end. Usually Texas's team wins, but no matter if they did, North Carolina likes to remind him of when the Cowboys lost to the Panthers. (The only reason it doesn't result in a fist-fight is because everybody is too stuffed from all the food).

On Friday everybody returns home. Virginia makes sure to send them all off with containers of leftovers so he doesn't have to eat it all himself. They say their goodbyes, Kentucky and Tennessee reminding everybody that they'll be hosting Christmas and New Years.

Virginia enjoys the quiet once they leave. Though as he packs up the board games and puts them back in the attic for next year, he does feel a little lonely. But it's only a few more weeks until he visits Kentucky for Christmas. And before he knows it, it'll be Thanksgiving again.