𝙿𝚊𝚛𝚝𝚒𝚌𝚕𝚎𝚜- a Batfamily fanfic/Jason Todd

Chapter 1

Trigger warning ⚠️ mentions of sûicide
POV Nyx

My breath is weird, all I hear is my inhaling and exhaling, it's like I can't control it myself, I can't see anything, well my eyes are closed, I want to open them, I cant, it's as if my brain can't send the proper signals throughout my body, I feel stuck, frozen, maybe I'll just drift away again, I'll probably be able to open my eyes at least next time I wake up.

20 hours later

Now I seem I can move, I barely twitch my fingers on my left hand, a cold hand gently grabs my own in response, I flutter my eyes open, squinting at the bright light that surrounds me, I feel like there's a fog around my brain, like I'm not fully there, I move my eyes slightly to my left, I see the person the hand belongs to, I don't recognize her, a woman in a navy blue nurses uniform, dark brown hair pulled into a pony tail.

She smiles at me, she looks sad though.
"You're okay, you've been asleep for twenty-five hours now, you will stay in ICU for another five days, you'll most likely be asleep most of the time, you'll feel very weak for a couple more weeks, after your time here we'll move you to a recovery room until your body shows it's capable of breathing without the ventilator," the woman spoke softly, the hint of sadness on her face lining her every word, as well as her dark brown eyes, I don't know if she just pities me in my state or knows something I don't. I would ask but there's a tube down my throat and I feel so groggy. I just stare blankly at her.

The nurse let's go of my hand and makes her way out the door.

I end up staring at the ceiling, why is my father not here? He was very reluctant to leave my side before my surgery, but my step mother insisted they come back later, I assumed he'd be here when I woke up...where's Ben, he said he'd be with me, the last time we spoke was the day before we got the call that they had a donor, he seemed like something was bothering him but he wouldn't tell me, I miss him so much, I want him here, why am I crying? Must be all the meds, ugh I'm so tired, I hate this feeling of not feeling..? It's weird, I want to know where my family is, but I can't speak, and the nurse isn't here, maybe I'll just let the medicine do it's work, I need more rest... maybe Ben and dad will be here when I wake...maybe...

POV nurse

God, why do I have to be the one with this job... they won't even let me tell her until she's stable enough to handle it, we cant take any risks with her in the state she is right now. The poor girl, she's just out of heart transplant surgery? And now this.. the pain she'll be in when shes conscious enough to feel, and that's just physical, I can't begin to imagine what it'll be like hearing the news.

I hate having to keep secrets from patients, once there were these teenagers, all brothers, they hit a cow on the freeway, their truck flipped ten times, the youngest didn't have a seatbelt on, he was thrown out the windshield and died in the ambulance, the first thing his older brothers asked when they woke up was if he was okay, we couldn't tell them the truth with them being so unstable, I had to lie to them... it broke my heart, I had to tell them later on, at least they had others to mourn with and to be comforted by.

It always seems to be me, the one they pick to break the news to the patients once they're deemed stable enough, it hurts me, I have no idea how they feel.

POV Nyx

It's been almost two weeks since I woke up, the pain is ridiculous, I hate all the tubes that I'm bound by, especially the ventilator, I can't even breath on my own, then there's the tube for my bodies little bit of waist...and the tube for the blood drainage and other liquids, today is the day they will remove the ventilator because apparently my body shows capability of breathing on its own.