Disclaimer,before we begin..I'm gonna go on and say that this is probably one of my favorite netflix shows as of now and i'm definitely writing a story on it...so this is DEFINITELY not gonna be like OBS...So consider this a warning to those who think this is gonna be wholesome...Cause there's gonna be A LOT of swearing and some Adult/Sexual humor/content....(especially in Blue Bloods)..With that out of the way...let the fic begin..
A Netflix Original Series
Cut to in front of the White House as some drunk guy(Rand)walks up with a bottle of beer in his hand and a group of tourists behind him.
Tour Guide:And the White House is called The People's House!Because in America,The Government works for you!
???:bull....shit!!!!
Rand:Voiced by JD from Heathers....no im not lying...look Christian Slater up..also Rand did some heinous ass shit.....we'll get to that later....
Rand:Listen here kids,everything they teach you in school is lie!You want the truth?!The world is runned by Shadow Elites and shapeshifting lizard people!Have you ever took a 1 dollar bill,folded it up and it say's Boobs?What does it mean?!Am i the only one who cares that the president is a robot!?*Beer bottle smash* Wake up sheeple!The evidence is right here!These son's of bitches got sniper's trained on me for trying to tell you guys the truth!!*Snipers lock onto him*God i love being right....
Right then some car pulled causing the crowd to run away while Rand started back talking
Rand:Thank you!Take a flyer for your friend!
???:Dad?What the fuck?!Has Retirement made you go completely insane?!
Reagan:Our main character,girlboss,fun fact:i simp for her
Rand:No,but the 5g radio waves in the air have,which you can read all about on my new Manifesto,avalible on Kindle!
Reagan:Oh jesus christ..Don't listen to my father kids,he get's his news from Facebok and Ambien!
Rand:Ambien's a really great drug,really clarifies some things!
Reagan:Come on,I'm gonna be late for work*proceeds to drive off*Democracy is real!Have some key chains!
Reagan then tossed some key chains hitting kid in the eye causing him to cry......pussy......
A few minutes later
J.D-er I mean Rand:Hey Reagan,let's stop by the mall and get a Wetzel's pretzel,they got the ones with the....with the cheese inside the crust...
Reagan:Dad,I know retirement is tough,but there's more positive ways to get my attention then "Taking Down The Deep State"(Sounds like Hunt Down The Freeman...)
Rand:*groans*
Reagan:Besides,today,I am finally getting that promotion.Imagine it,Me!Ruling the office with an iron fist!*honks horn*I even programmed an iron fist!
Reagan then proceeded to pull out the Iron Fist
Rand:Eh,I've seen better....
Reagan:Oh have you seen better,*fist wires into a middle finger then playing a fanfare*
Rand:Alright,that's pretty good....
Reagan:Yeah that's pretty good Huh....
Outside of Cognito Inc.
PA:Welcome to Cognito Inc.,We are a company....We are a company....we
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"We're all insane at the end right?" Inside Job x Reader
FanfictionCongrats on being hired to work at Cognito.Inc! You have successfully proved your mental sanity and obsession with Conspiracies to be fitting for the Cognito. Inc Work Environment! We have given you the opportunity to work along side other individua...