ghosts

twenty three

The rest of the night was pretty silent. Neither of us too scared to speak to each other after we kissed. We would have to talk about it sometime soon, but at the moment, we were still processing everything. Feelings are a fucking mess, and I don't know if I like being alive again or not. But I don't think this would've ever happened if I was still a ghost, that's for sure.

We arrived home in silence, the house inviting us into it's warmth. Shane spoke first after we entered the place. "So." He started, locking the door after we both got inside. The chill of the night wearing off of our skin and clothes. "The. Uhm."

"Yeah." I mumbled, knowing he was wanting to talk about the kiss. I didn't though. It wasn't that I regret the kiss. It's just that, feelings are awkward and I hate talking about them. The kids in middle school would make me do that sort of thing.

"Did you mean it?" He whispered, awkwardly standing in front of the door. I, too, stood awkward, unsure of the energy of this conversation. I sighed, turning and walking to the couch. Shane watched, twiddling his thumbs.

I stayed silent. Did I mean it? Of course I did. Did he like it? He waddled over to the couch, sitting down beside me. "I get if you don't wanna talk about it, but I just wanna know if you meant it." I felt him looking at me. Daggers. His eyes felt like daggers piercing through my skin. I still didn't answer and he let out a breath.

"Okay." The couch felt lighter and it was only when he crouched in front of me when I saw his scrunched up nose and concerned look. His elbows rested against his knees. He carefully watched my eyes, for any sort of regret, which held none. Gently with one hand, he caressed my cheek to which I melted into, not meaning to. "(Y/n)."

Hearing my name roll out of his mouth brought me back from just staring into his eyes. For several minutes, I glanced between them and his lips and he seemed to take notice of that. He leaned forward, his breath fanning my face as our noses touched. "(Y/n).." My name became breathy and unsteady.

I grasped his shirt and pulled him closer. He was hovered over me now, less than an inch apart, "I meant every second of it." I breathed out and it was enough to pour each of us over the top. He closed the gap, moving his lips against mine. It was soft, passionate, but short. He pulled away, pulling me up off the couch as he lead me to his room, but stopped right in front of it, turning to me.

"I don't wanna fuck you, by the way." He suddenly became nervous. "I'm just." A pause, then he scratched the back of his head. "I just think you shouldn't sleep on the couch anymore.. We- we can figure out where we stand on the kisses tomorrow."

I smiled softly, not know he'd care so much about taking our time and going slow with this. I cupped his face and brought him down to my level, placing a small kiss on his lips and he seemed struck. It was sweet, like sun kissed skin, or that little cherry on top.

We both climbed into his bed, with myself falling asleep first. It wasn't super awkward, but our first time sleeping in the same bed. It was definitely more comfortable than the couch, much easier to sleep on. My dreams clouded with ideas of Shane and I.

xxx

I woke up and moved out of bed, seeing as Shane was no longer in it. Upon entering the kitchen, a note being held down by a glass of water. Just a short quick note, basically saying how he had to go into work today, but he'd pick me up at lunch if I was up to hanging out for the second half of work.

Which reminded me it's almost that time, so I should go change and get ready. It's not like it took very long for either of these things to happen. The getting ready and Shane getting here. He unlocked the front door and walked inside, looking at me sitting kind of bored on the kitchen island. He smiles, watching me roll a pen. I eyeball him and crumple a piece of paper to throw at him.

"So are you gonna come into work with me?" He still stood at the door, waiting for my answer, even though he probably already knew the answer.

I nod, standing up and walking over to him, walking around him to the car. He followed behind me, closing the house door and opening the car door. We both get inside, buckle up, and he's on his way back to work. "I let them know I was bringing you in, because I know how lonely you get." He paused. "We have to film a True Crime episode, so if you're okay with hanging out with the crew."

"Of course Shane." I softly say, a smile plastered onto my face as I watch the buildings rush by. Barely any time to see anything, people, shops, cars. I glance over at Shane who was tapping his thumbs against the wheel as of he has a song playing on repeat in his head. Cute.

He smiles to himself and I turn away to watch out the window in case he catches me staring at him.