ghosts

twenty four

I cherish the smallest of moments between the two of us. Shane, a simple, unbelieving man, can one day believe in possibilities of the beyond. The beyond being ghosts, in this case. Unbelieving in the eyes of the media, only I have seen the real Shane. It's a wonder.

I was brought back from thinking about it, we were entering the buzzfeed building, the distinct change in temperature between the outside and inside was very noticable. Shane waved to his co-workers and I waved after. It was polite, and a nice thing to do.

"Aye (Y/n)!" Ryan exclaimed, a cup of what seemed to be coffee, sat in his hand. There was a slight steam rising from it, indicating he made it recently. "It seems that y'all are more than friends now or.." He seemed to trail off, watching how antsy I got. I glanced at Shane who had a hand over his mouth and was trying to hide the ongoing blush forming against his cheeks.

"Ryan!" I shout only the few of us could hear, knowing he was teasing us since the only times I've talked to Ryan, Shane has been around. Shane introduced us in the first place anyways and Ryan is Shane's best friend so no wonder why he would tease us like this.

"Sorry! Sorry." Ryan chuckles, defensively throwing his hands up as if to protect himself. None of us would throw hands, this man knew how to play sports and could beat me with a snap of his finger. "Anyways.."

"Yeah, so (Y/n) here is gonna watch us film some True Crime." Shane placed his hands on my shoulders from behind, smiling wide with Ryan nodding in understanding. They continue chatter, and I tune out their conversation. I just wanted to listen to Shane talk for hours, the warmth on my shoulders left.

I frowned and I guess Shane seemed to take notice of that after making a sighing noise. Ryan began leading us, me mostly, to the film room as they were about to do their little unsolved show. Ryan said he would meet us inside and Shane pulled me into another room.

He closed the door, then the windows. He quickly leaned down so that we were inches away from each other. I grabbed his shirt, pulling his lips against mine, but he pulled away before we could get very far. "We have to talk about this relationship of ours, you know."

"I know."

"I'm gonna film, and then I'll be off work for the rest of the day, okay?" He leans in to give me an uncertain kiss on the forehead. I watch his chest as he breaths in and out, deeply. "And then we can talk." He mumbles, opening the door and peaking out. No one seems to be around so the both of us step out and straighten up our clothes, stepping into the filming room. Eyes follow between the two of us, Ryan raising his brow and those behind the cameras and microphones gesture to a free chair. One that's off to the side, out of the way and not blocked by cameras.

I watched Shane sit down, talk to Ryan with Ryan chatting back. They were having light conversation before the crew began filming. Ryan started with his introduction, Shane staring off into space. Distracted by something. Me. He was distracted by me. I wasn't looking at him at first, I was watching the mannequin in the background, but felt someone stare a bit too long and caught his eyes.

Mysterious, but lustful. It's so hard to resist. He's working. Both of us were brought back to earth when Ryan called for Shane.

"Are you alright?"

"Yeah. Let's just.." He gulped, paying no mind to me. "Run it again." He glanced at me, his breath slow and heavy, blood rushed to his cheeks very fast. And so did I.

xxx

The two of us rushed inside, heavy breaths shared, lips against each other. We were all over each other, not able to hold back our desires any longer. "Fuck.." I breathed out.

He mumbled something under his breath before slowing to a halt. I couldn't hear him when we started talking, words were escaping his lips but nothing was being heard. It was like my mind was racing a million miles a minute. I was debating if I should outright say it or not, knowing that what I hid deep down was more than just a crush or some silly infatuation. Words of his kept slipping out, he stammered and stuttered a bunch, never getting to the point. I ignored most everything he's said until I stopped breathing. I watched him carefully, he spoke, "We can't keep doing this, we need to-"

"I love you." I interrupted, accidentally blurting it out. I said it. The wrong thing. I said the wrong thing. He wanted to hear it, I'm sure he did, but not now. Not so soon. We aren't in a relationship. We know each other's deepest secrets, we told them to each other long before I was alive again. We never knew it could ever be like this. He pulls away completely, watching me wipe my mouth, not trying to remove the kiss that we previously had, but from the sloppiness of it. Maybe I shouldn't have said it. I meant it, but it was probably too soon. I stepped back until my back hit the door. The front door that when I turned the handle, it was locked.

"I.. (Y/n).." His voice trailed, retracting his hand after trying to reach out to me, to stop me or save me from my thoughts, my racing thoughts that never seemed to stop.

"I'm sorry." I mumbled, turning around and unlocking the door, walking out of the house. He watched me, not stopping me, not reaching out like he had previously. I wish he stopped me because I don't know a thing about Los Angeles. This god forsaken city. I should've stayed dead.