Legacy // H.S

19.

'Siamo fuori de testa ma diversi da loro'

*

Heist day

3:30am. London.

Reticent. That seems like the correct word to describe our group right now. Quiet, hesitant, reserved.

Yes, reticent.

The streets of London are bare, the usual buzz still in their peaceful slumber before the day begins. No cars, no pedestrians, no tourists. It's eery, in a way. Not how it should be. When you hear the word London, your mind immediately pictures crowds and noise and chaos. But right now, as we drive through the streets of the capital, there is nothing of the sort. And I'm not sure I like it all that much.

Silence can be both a blessing and curse. It can bring peace at times of great turmoil, or it can make everything seem worse. There's a clear divide between the group as we sit with no words to fill the air. Some are breathing steady as if the very notion of what we're about to do doesn't faze them, and I suppose it's understandable given how long they've been in the business. Then there are the rest of us with shaking hands and lips bitten until they bleed. Anxiety in its greatest form.

There are two other cars following behind us. In this one sits me, Zayn, Harry and Louis, along with one of Claude's team driving up front. Liam, Claude, Niall and Babz are in the middle of the fleet, and a van holding the other members of Claude's group follow at the back. I spend some time wondering if they're reacting in the same way. Silence. Using it to say everything they fear without ever vocalising it. Or maybe they don't feel the weight of this as much as we do, because most of us in this van have lost the most.

It's unnerving, not the best kind of feeling to have before we set our sights on some of the most famous pieces of art known to man.

It still hasn't really sunk in that that is what we're about to do. Almost a year preparing for these bigger heists and now that I'm finally engaged in one, I can't seem to accept it. For all these months, it's only been a hypothetical. Something to aspire towards, hope for, but without ever feeling the reach of it. But since Claude came along, everything seems to have sped up and the rate we're moving is hard to keep up with. Sometimes my lungs burn with the sudden acceleration of our plans.

Before a big change, there is always a period of reflection. Looking back at your choices that have led to this moment, re-evaluating them as if you even have time to change the outcome. You tell yourself that it will all work out, but alongside that are the thousands of voices listing everything that could go wrong. But you have to accept either one of these outcomes, because it will happen regardless of whether you're ready or not.

Before taking flight, there is an understanding that you will either fall or you will fly. Your wings might spread and help you soar through the sky, or they will break and send you tumbling to the ground. You could feel the wind whipping through your hair with a smile, or a shriek. But you'll never know unless you try. That's what is so scary about all of this; knowing that despite our efforts, it could still be for nothing.

It can take one domino falling and suddenly the whole deck of them is collapsing around you. Trial and error, I suppose. Or just making stupid decisions and hoping it doesn't give us stupid results.

I still believe we can get through this. I have every faith that we'll walk out of the doors to that gallery with what we came for, completely unscathed and ready for the next big robbery. They're all far more capable than I am, but even my skills are reaching their level. I can do this, I have to keep telling myself. A pep talk that only I can hear, but one I'm sure the others are having too. In the confines our own minds, we're reassuring ourselves of our talents and the plan, going over every step of it, every map and detail. We're ready. We couldn't be any more ready if we tried.