The Son of Imp Assassins

Pilot

[The scene opens with a city shot that slowly zooms in on the Immediate Murder Professionals building. Cars honking can be heard in the background. The scene transitions to a closed door, with a sign that says "Meeting in progress". Inside, Blitzø is walking by a whiteboard on the wall as he lectures his employees.]

Blitzø: Alright, now, I know business has been... a bit slow lately, yes. It's no one's fault, okay? I'm not naming any names here... [looks at Moxxie] Moxxie. [Moxxie gives him a "What the hell?" look.] Now, does anyone have... any bright ideas on how we can get business drummin' up again?

Millie: What about a car wash?

Y/N: Mom this is hell no one's gonna care about their car being clean, only me, you, and dad do that.

Blitzø: Ooh, what about a billboard?

Moxxie: We can't afford a billboard, sir.

Y/N: Or can we! [slams stack of 100 dollar bills on the table] go get that billboard later uncle Blitzø.

Moxxie: Y/N where did you get that money from?

Y/N: Don't question it, just know that I got it.

Blitzø: Thank you Y/N, and your being real helpful, Moxxie. Really glad you're in the room right now. [pushes Moxxie away] Have you guys forgotten what service we provide?

[Blitzø turns on a TV that shows the I.M.P. crew brutally murdering people from the overworld as they are paid to do. Blitzo whacks a man in the face with a mallet, Moxxie is blown away firing a shotgun through the mouth of a man tied to a chair, Loona swings a man back and forth in her mouth, Millie decapitates someone with a harpoon and laughs, and Y/N shoots a woman between the eyes and punches a hole straight through another man's chest. Then it zooms out to everyone watching the TV, with Loona, Millie, Y/N, and Blitzø eating popcorn.]

Blitzo: Ahh, those were the good times.

Y/N: Yeah so much fun I miss it.

Moxxie: I don't need any reminding, sir, considering you blew most of our salaries on an obnoxious TV ad last week. One that you then additionally paid to have run for a full three hours on a channel nobody watches.

Y/N: Hey I spend days getting that voice right for what uncle Blitzø wanted.

Blitzo: Uh, hey, excuse me. What's "obnoxious" about a super-fun jingle, all right? It's a fun distraction when an advertisement's spittin' bullshit! And yeah Y/N made sure to get that voice perfect for what I wanted.

Millie: People love musicals, sir.

Blitzo: Exactly, Millie! And we're basically doin' a musical. Are you gonna crush my musical theatre dreams like my dad did?

Moxxie: Sir--

Blitzo: 'Cause right now, all I see is just my dad's asshole talking to me! Crushing my dreams of being who I truly am inside.

Millie: Are you tryin' to crush his dreams, Moxxie?

Moxxie: I-- What?

Millie: I thought I knew you. [Millie playfully sticks her tongue out at him as Moxxie rolls his eyes affectionately.]

Y/N: Wow dad I thought you were way nicer but this is low.

Blitzo: I can't believe you, Moxxie, [holds up an employee of the month plaque with Moxxie's picture on it] after I made you employee of the month instead of Y/N!

Y/N: