𝐁𝐄𝐂𝐀𝐔𝐒𝐄 𝐎𝐅 𝐘𝐎𝐔 - 𝘔𝘈𝘡𝘌 𝘙𝘜𝘕𝘕𝘌𝘙

20 ~ 𝙨𝙤𝙤𝙣 𝙮𝙤𝙪'𝙡𝙡 𝙜𝙚𝙩 𝙗𝙚𝙩𝙩𝙚𝙧

Newt

 All of the Runners were back already, minus Lottie and Minho. I'd asked Minho to help her if she got into any trouble a while back, and now they were both missing. I couldn't help but think that something horrible had happened.

The other Gladers and I grouped around the Door, just as we had done yesterday. The faces were more worried, however. Some people didn't care what happened to Lottie, but everyone liked Minho, even if he was annoyingly sassy sometimes.

Alby stood beside me with his fists clenched. I assumed that he couldn't care less about the wellbeing of the two missing Runners; I think he was just angry that he was going to lose two of the best.

A sudden movement in the Maze caught my eye. It was Minho. I let out a small sigh of relief. At least he was back. But where was Lottie? Then, I noticed the body that was limp in his arms. I recognized the long brown hair falling across her face.

"Lottie," I whispered, and took a step towards the Maze, but a firm hand gripped my shoulder, holding me back. It was Gally. He shook his head at me slightly, his lips in a thin, concerned line.

The Door made a crack, signaling that it would be closing. The other Gladers began to urge Minho on. He moved as fast as he could with Lottie to carry. I watched helplessly as he struggled forward. One of my nightmares was about to become a reality if they didn't make it.

"No," I murmured to no one in particular. "Not again," I couldn't lose them both. It'll be okay, she'd said, months ago when she hadn't even stepped foot in the Maze yet.

The Doors were almost closed, but they had almost made it. Minho jumped forward, throwing Lottie away from him through the gap and rolling away from the Door just as it slammed closed.

The other Runners went to help Minho to his feet, but he waved them away and crawled towards Lottie instead. I raced forward as well, inspecting her arms and legs for injuries. She didn't seem to be hurt, besides the red mark on her arm. She was also extremely pale, and her lips were blue.

She looked... dead. But she wasn't, of course she wasn't. She was breathing.

"She was Stung." Minho panted, accepting a glass of water from Winston.

"Med-jacks! We need the Serum!" I scooped Lottie up and began running towards the med hut, barely aware of Mitch, Gally, and the other Gladers jogging by my side.

I set Lottie down on a cot and watched as the Med-jacks gave her half of a vial of the Serum. I pressed my lips together with worry. We now only had half of a vial left; it wasn't much.

Minho was sleeping in another cot with bandages covering half his body. Apparently, he'd slid right across the Maze floor, scraping the skin off of his left side. It looked painful; there was blood gushing from the injuries when he arrived. It did look quite disgusting; I couldn't blame Alex, a Builder, from gagging and hurrying away. Then again, Alex was the one who threw up at the very thought of killing one of the pigs when he tried being a Slicer.

I sighed, clenched my jaw, and made myself comfortable in my chair, preparing for a long night of sitting there in between my two injured friends.

Wasn't I just speaking to Lottie last night? We were talking about stars. She told me that she'd never seen them before. None of us had. But we knew they were there, shining bright. I'd asked her why she didn't seem to get frightened by her own nightmares. She told me that nightmares were just dreams; that what happened in them wasn't possible. And now look at her. She looked so fragile, laying on the cot like that. The typical green veins that appeared over a Stung person's body were beginning to form. They crept up her neck, and were especially dark around the place where the Griever had Stung her.

I told Minho to run the routes next to hers, just in case something like this happened. I suppose if he hadn't been there today, Lottie would have died. I owed Minho many things, but this is one that I am determined to pay back.

Minho. I sat up straight, and turned to his cot. I hadn't even asked if he was alright. He was awake, and grinned when I turned to face him, his dark eyes glittering with amusement.

"Remembered me, have you?" He asked.

"Sorry," I said. "How are you feeling?"

He shrugged. "Not bad. I'm sure I felt worse than a few floor burns."

I lifted an eyebrow. "You scraped half your skin off. I wouldn't call that a few floor burns." Minho shrugged again.

"Lottie got worse," He peered around me and winced at the sight of her. "When do you think she's gonna start screaming?" I grimaced.

"Any minute now." the green veins had made it all the way down her legs and arms. I turned away from her and began to bite my fingernails; a bad habit I'd never been able to break.

"You really care about her." Minho declared.

"I do," I said. "I care about all of you."

But Minho shook his head impatiently. "Not like this," he said, and I remembered the night he'd first said that to me, when I'd asked him to run the routes next to Lottie's.

"What do you mean by that?" I asked. He rolled his eyes, as if annoyed that I was missing something obvious.

"Are you in love with her?"

I nearly fell out of my chair. My immediate response was "No, of course not," but I wanted to give him a truthful answer, so I thought about it.

I didn't even remember anyone I'd ever loved before the Maze. I'm sure I had, though, like parents or siblings or best friends. But they were all gone now. I wondered if I loved anyone in the Glade. Perhaps my closest friends, like Alby or Minho. But something told me that that wasn't what Minho was talking about.

"I don't know." I said finally.

"Well, I do," Minho replied confidently, sitting up on his elbows. "I see the way you look at her." I felt my neck go red. The way I looked at her? I didn't realize I even looked at her in any way. Maybe I made it obvious. I expected Minho to tease me relentlessly, but to my surprise, all he gave me was a knowing smirk.

I had refused to leave Lottie's side, even when she started screaming. I didn't want to leave to go to dinner, so a plate was brought to me. However, I barely ate any of it.

It was dark now, and most of the Gladers were asleep in their hammocks, including the Med-jacks. I was still awake, but barely. I hadn't moved from my chair, and it was beginning to get quite uncomfortable, so I lay down on the cot next to Lottie's.

I blamed myself for what happened. I blamed myself for not being there to help. The reasonable part of my brain knew that I wouldn't be able to do much, and I knew that if Lottie knew what I was thinking, she'd say I was being ridiculous.

And yet, I couldn't stop thinking about that dream. "You could have prevented it, Newt," Lottie had said. "Why didn't you protect me? It was your job." I shivered, and shoved the memory away. Shut up, I told myself and forced myself to think of something else.

I found myself remembering what Minho had said about love, and decided to crack the code. Was this love?

I didn't know. I remember once, a long time ago, Alby told me that I couldn't love someone else unless I loved myself. But did I love myself? Or am I just as hateful as I was a year and a half ago, when I jumped off that wall?

There were people I loved, surely. Minho, Alby... why was Lottie any different? Why was it such a struggle to find the truth? This is different. A different thought all together. One that was completely foreign. I have loved things, and I wasn't sure if I loved myself just yet. But I have never been in love. In love; complete infatuation. Overall protectiveness and care - I was protective of Lottie, I wasn't going to lie to myself. Then again, I was protective over all of my friends.

But she's different. Why? Why was she different? Though a part of me already knew the answer. Maybe Minho was right. 

A/N

Chapter 20. Ooooh ok Newt 😏. Vote if you liked it (or not, that's okay too) 

- 𝐠𝐨𝐥𝐝𝐞𝐧 𝐡𝐚𝐛𝐢𝐭