Simply Ordinary

Chapter 2

My dad comes back into the room a couple minutes later with papers in his hand. "You ready to go?" He asks and grabs his work bag, since he had been working from the hospital. "Yeah. Let's go home for as long as we can..." I respond and grab my things. We walk out of the room and down the pediatrics hall. As we pass the nurses' desks we wave to the familiar ones and bid our farewells. We enter the elevator and lower to the lobby. Leaving the hospitals is the best feeling even when I know I'll be back soon. Breathing the fresh air, seeing the beautiful trees blowing in the wind. It's so much better than being stuck in a dull hospital room.

We walked across the parking lot, all the way to the long term parking section, which is where you will find my dad's car most of the time. Once we reach the car my dad opens the passenger seat door for me and I climb into the seat. You might ask how a girl with epilepsy can walk all the way across a huge parking lot. I would just respond with my kind of epilepsy gives me no physical disability. The only downside is just knowing that one of those lovely shakes can pop up anytime, anywhere, whether your walking, running, jumping, whatever. It doesn't matter.

My dad quickly puts all of our belongings into the trunk of the car and walks around to get into the driver's seat. He climbs in and starts the car and before I know it, I'm leaving the hospital and finally going home. I know I've only been there for two days, but for me, that long in a hospital is like a century. We make the twenty minute drive in what feels like five. There is no greater feeling than seeing your home after being in your least favorite place in the world.

Of course my dad grabs all the stuff and even opens all the doors. He seems to think that my condition prevents me from doing absolutely anything. Another reason that I'm determined to go to school, I am kind of tired of having my father being within an inch of me every second. I make my way down the hall to my room which is the first one on the right. My dad drops my things by my bed and asks,"What do ya wanna have for dinner, sweetheart?" I reply with a simple and abrupt response,"I don't think I'm gonna eat tonight, Dad. I'm just really tired." Which is true. I'm extremely exhausted and I just don't feel like eating. "Is this all about the whole school thing again? I already told you, you're too sick and I can't just..." He isn't able to finish his sentence before I cut him off. "That's exactly the point! I'm too sick! I am too sick and your not letting me do anything with the time I have left! Don't you..." "STOP! I am NOT doing this right now! We just got out of the hospital and I will not be having this conversation about the time you have left! It's nonsense!" And with the slamming of my door, he leaves me alone in my room. "You just don't get it! You never will!" I scream, just trying to get the last word. I've always been known to be very stubborn and people tend to say I get it from my mother. At least the people that knew her before she left me to die.

I lay down and stare up at the roof. He really doesn't get it. Nothing in my life has ever been easy or ordinary for that matter. I just don't understand why... Why me? Why do I have to be the one to suffer all these burdens? Okay, give me a chronic and perhaps fatal illness, but you could at least give me my mother. It's all I ever wanted; to have my mother by my side, to be simply ordinary, and now that I realize it... I want to live.

With those thoughts drifting in my mind, I slowly drift into a soft and peaceful sleep. I dream of me and what I remember of my mother from pictures. We're running through a beautiful meadow filled with bright and colorful flowers as we race to a gigantic willow in the middle. When we are about to reach the trunk of the ginormous tree my mother trips on a root just behind me and falls into me. We roll at an incredible speed, laughing until, BAM! I get up, disoriented, only to see my mother with her head laying against a sharp branch jutting out from the bottom of the trunk. She's bleeding from her head and she lies unconscious. I shake her and scream at her to wake up and then she just disappears out of thin air. I look at the place where she had just been laying and begin to sob into the trunk of the tree. My mother has left me once again.

I wake up violently, my breath going a hundred miles an hour. My breathing begins to slow down as I keep telling myself, It's just a dream. It's just a dream. I look over to my clock that is resting on the nightstand right next to my bed and I see that its 11:20 PM. I suddenly remember my plan to convince my dad to let me go to school. The thought hits me like a train. I shouldn't have a plan for this. I just need to tell him exactly why I need and want to go to school so badly. The truth should be just as or even more convincing than any lie I could ever come up with. I've just been too scared to admit it, but I've decided to say it right now.

With my new found determination, I get myself out of my warm and comfortable bed and walk across the hall to my father's room, where he is in such a deep sleep that his snores resonate throughout the entire house. I enter the room cautiously, even though I know I will be waking him up soon enough. I tip-toe over to the half of the bed that my mother should be sleeping in. I crawl into the bed and slowly slide my legs under the covers. I scoot my body closer to my dad and with that his snoring ceases and his eyes flutter open. He turns his head towards me and gently smiles, "What happened, sweet pea? You couldn't sleep?"

I look back at him,"Actually, I wanted to talk to you about something..." He turns and looks at his clock. "You want to talk about it at 11:30 at night? You should just go back to sleep. It's too late for..." I cut him off,"No, Dad. I need to say this now." And this is the truth. I feel like if I wait, maybe even a couple more minutes, I will lose the courage I have to say what I've been dying to say for a while now. "Well alright. What is it?" He says with his gentle smile, some annoyance also showing in his face.

"I want to go to school AND before you cut me off saying that this is not a topic to talk about, I wanted to at least tell you the real reason why." I spit out. He gives a big sigh and says reluctantly,"Continue." Excited with my first opportunity to explain myself, I begin quickly, before he changes his mind, "I just wanted to let you know that I understand completely why you don't want me to go. I'm your little girl and basically all you have left. I know Mom left you, but Dad, she left me too. I think we both have been spending too much time thinking about her, and not only her, also my epilepsy." He twitches at the mention of my mother and my illness, but I continue. "I know I'm sick and I know that I'm dying. And don't deny that I'm dying because I know that I am and I'm not afraid of it. That's just the whole point. I'm going to die and I've barely lived my life. Hell, I haven't lived my life at all. You do realize that, right? I've spent my entire childhood in hospitals or at home. I don't think I've ever made one friend besides the nurses at the hospitals that I grew close to. So you want to know the reason that I want to go to school? I want to go to school, Dad, because I want to live."

Hey guys! Sorry it took me a while to publish Chapter 2, but I've just been taking a lot of time to think out the plot of this book and I've come up with a really amazing plot that I hope you all will be interested in! Vote and comment anything you want to respectfully criticize or anything you enjoy in the book! Thanks for all of the support and I hoped you enjoyed this chapter :)

~Amanda