CAMBRIA

NINE

What goes up, must come down. And while Cambria knew that gravity could be a fickle thing, she never expected it to come as quickly as it did.

Theo beckoned her presence one Sunday afternoon in late August. She was sun-kissed and starry eyed from spending the weekend at Jackson's cottage with friends. Theo, as always, couldn't make it because of work. Cambria assumed the last-minute invite was to make up for lost time.

She was wrong.

Theo was leaving. Moving away for his job, four hours north. The company was expanding and Theo had been recruited to be the first of many who would migrate. Such a promising opportunity. But what did this mean for Theo and Cambria?

It meant they were done.

At first, she protested, telling him they could make it work, regardless of distance. But Theo disagreed. It was too far, he said. And he'd be much too busy now. He wouldn't have time for a girlfriend, for a relationship. It wouldn't be fair to her. She deserved to be with someone who could give her more.

"Don't make this more difficult than it needs to be," he said to her, and she would always remember those words, the way he said it, so blasé, as if there time together hadn't meant anything at all. And how in that moment, she realized this was an entirely different conversation for him than it was for her.

"You know I care about you," he told her. "I wish you nothing but the best. And I hope we can still be friends."

Friends. As if Cambria could ever be friends with him. After all those mornings she woke up at dawn to see him. Midnights driving in his car. Days on end they'd spend in bed, the rest of the world disappeared. Laughing as they cooked ramen because Theo always somehow made a mess.

Friends was an insult after that. And she didn't even want to bother trying.

Yet on the night before he left, she found herself at his place, once again, one last time. She told herself it was just to say goodbye but they both knew that wasn't true.

If anything, this was closure. Or perhaps that was just a lie she told herself.

The next morning, while he was still asleep, she collected her things, and without saying a word, slipped out the door, just as she had that very first night.

______

Theo's absence hit harder than she thought it would.

Time seemed to pass at a different speed when she didn't have him to come home to. The days dragged on, her thoughts occupied of nothing but him. Surely this was irrational. She did not spend this much time thinking of him when he was here, yet suddenly, as soon as he was gone, that was all she could think about.

Theo and that look he would give her. Theo and his blue eyes. Theo and his hands wrapped around her waist.

She tortured herself, conjuring every memory she could. The night they met, how nervous he was to bring her home. Talking on his couch until the early morning. And then everything that followed, cutting herself open just to give him her heart.

As if he'd even want it.

She knew his facial features by heart, could recall them at any given time. Had memorized every crease and dimple. She could close her eyes and still feel his hands on her skin, a phantom touch. His scent lingered on her duvet. And if she concentrated hard enough, she could still hear his voice.

They'd taken one photo together, the only proof she had he was here, and she kept it in a book on her nightstand.

It was painstakingly obvious that Cambria was in love with Theo. Yet somehow the thought had never occurred to her until after he was gone.

Until it was too late.

It was clear these feelings were not reciprocated. To Cambria, Theo was everything she'd been longing for. But to Theo, Cambria was nothing but a brief summer dalliance. Perhaps she had known this all along, but it was easier to pretend otherwise.

Cambria had wanted Jackson – needed Jackson – but he'd been busy with Natalia. Subjected to unwanted solitude and desperate for human interaction, Cambria had no other choice but to seek solace elsewhere, in Mara.

"He's nothing special," Mara told her as they sat on her bed eating ice-cream from the tub. "He's just a boy. You'll move on and be fine."

And while Cambria knew that was true, she also knew it would take her some time to get over this one.

"Will you miss him?" Cambria was lying on Jackson's bed, pillow to her chest as he smoked a cigarette out the window. They had just finished dinner with his family and the sun was beginning to set.
Jackson exhaled and turned to face her. "Yeah, I'll miss him."
"Do you think you'll stay in touch?"
"I doubt it. Theo doesn't seem like the type to stay in touch."
"That's disappointing."
Jackson took another drag and shrugged. "Yeah, well. What can you do?"
"You could go visit him."
"Maybe I'll do that. And bring you with me."
"No, thanks."
He laughed. "Are you heartbroken?"
"Fuck off."
Another drag. "He did a real number on you, didn't he?"
She didn't respond.
"Aw, do you love him?"
"Shut up."
"Do you?"
"I don't want to talk about this with you anymore."
"Why, because I'm right?"
"No, because you're being a dick."
"You need me."
"Mara was a better substitute."
"Oh, you were hanging out with Mara? How was that? Is she better than me?"
"She's nicer than you. And gives better advice."
"What advice did she give you?"
"I'm not talking about this with you."
"I thought girls liked to talk about this kind of stuff."
"Fuck off."
Jackson laughed and stubbed out his cigarette, joining her on the bed. "Who's your favorite person to hang out with?"
"You."
"Good."
"Isn't that obvious?"
"I guess it is."
"Unfortunately you can't say the same about me."
"What do you mean? Of course you're my favorite person to hang out with."
"Natalia."
He rolled his eyes. "She's been pissing me off lately."
"Trouble in paradise?" she raised one eyebrow. "Dare I ask?"
Jackson rolled his eyes. "It's always something with her. So melodramatic."
"I'm melodramatic and you still like me."
"Yeah, cause you're Cambri. I'd like you no matter what."
She loved when he called her that. "No matter what?"
"Yeah. You're my person."
"You're my person, too."
He held her gaze for just a moment too long, then said, "You know what you need? To get drunk."