You're a Harpy, But I Love You (Hanma x Reader Fic)

Chapter 3: Hanma's stupidity is genius

PROLOGUE 3: AT CROSSROADS IN JUVIE WITH HANMA

Chouji Ahane was a simple man. He knew that he was not going to be anyone impactful in life. He was a simple cog in an elaborate machine and sometimes, he was so jagged and wrong that the machine breaks. He was the type of tool that needed the right workman. Even so, he had often had daydreams that were big and complicated. He was enthralled with a life of crime and power play; And he liked doing bad things. He didn't feel the kind of high that Hanma felt when he hurt others, but he felt good at the sense of power and strength he had over others.

Of course, he was one of the cowardly delinquents, he could admit that. But he and Hanma both had one excellent quality: they were loyal to a fault. He was loyal to Kisaki and it led him to one juvenile center after another. Even then, he didn't regret being bad. Being bad suited him like a well fit glove. It was like finding the right pair of socks and never wanting to take them off. Even if he was defeated, beaten up, bruised, humiliated or perhaps even killed, he didn't know any other way than being a delinquent.

He wasn't able to get out as easily from the juvenile center as quickly as he had hoped. He wasn't surprised. Good behavior wasn't in his vocabulary. So, imagine his surprise when six months later, Hanma became his inmate. He nearly shat himself at the sight of that shark-like smile that Hanma possessed when he greeted him.

"Yo, Lil' Chou~ Have you been well?"

He hated being called Little Chou. It wounded like he was calling him a baby cabbage. And when Hanma uses terms of endearment like that, it was never a good sign. Yet, at some moments, his stupidity won over his common sense and he dared to ask how Hanma got caught. He shouldn't have been so harsh on himself for his intellect.

"I got caught on camera stealing something I shouldn't have," Hanma started.

Chouji was almost excited. 'Did he commit armed robbery? Had he broken into some rich folks' house? Did he beat a politician's son? Did he murder somebody?'

"What did you do?" he asked eagerly.

"I stole a penguin from a Zoo. In Osaka."

Chouji was quieter than usual. He had always been a quiet and stern fellow as part of his delinquent brand but this was the sort of quiet that felt forced on him because of how stupid it was! He wanted to say 'Whut?' then and there but that misspelled word remained tightly lodged in his throat.

Hanma, being the kind of guy that loves to talk, continued, "It was a rather bird-brained plan to be honest."

It was a pun. That was a pun. Hanma made a bird pun. Obviously, someone made fun of his hair. Chouji crossed that thought from his mind as soon as it came, but that gave more unnecessary room to mull over the fact that Hanma made a stupid bird pun and was giggling like a gossip girl preparing for a date.

Despite all this, Chouji still had the courage to inquire more about what had happened to him in Osaka. Why did no one bail him out? Had he really been a fugitive all this time? Why would he steal a penguin?

"Why weren't you bailed out?"

Hanma bit his lower lip and frowned, as if really trying to remember something that shouldn't have confuddled him in the first place. Then he laughed and snapped his finger while remembering, "Ah! Right. Funny story. I stole the sunglasses off the officer after brawling with him. And then I ran out of there, with handcuffs on and everything. I was caught again but I think they were just pissed off that I kept insisting that I was James Brown. Hehe Ha-ha... Haaah," he sighed. "Well, I thought it was funny."

Chouji, being a gullible human being, believed him. He genuinely believed that this was the sort of thing Hanma would do. He closed his eyes and sat cross legged on his bunk bed and mentally remembered every foolish deed he has ever committed. And he forgave himself. He also prayed for Hanma's psychological well-being and hoped that he was being sarcastic.