Take Two

18║Truth

this is a short chapter but I'm so super excited for you guys to read it!!

also sorry(?) for the updates so close together, I don't know if you guys like that or not- but I have this problem where I literally can not hold back a chapter once it's written and NaNo is giving me the grounds to write lots and get this story done (which I'm hoping I do really soon)

dedicated to @lunavaldez24 for her comment on the last chapter! thanks so much :)

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E I G H T E E N;

There was this eerie calm within the boundaries of the Fairview Cemetery. It always felt like the minute you crossed through the gates of the cemetery you entered into another world- a world where the bustling sounds that one would attribute to the streets of Toronto were replaced with the occasional crunching of leaves and quiet conversations of the people around you. It was almost like there was an unwritten contract saying that you must remain quiet while in the cemetery, when in fact there was no rule prohibiting it.

Yet my mother and I remained quiet, silently weaving our way in between the headstones lined in perfectly symmetrical rows. My brother's grave was tucked away in the back corner of the cemetery- my parent's had chosen it because the area surrounding it was rarely traveled, giving my brother the peace that he deserved.

My grip tightened around the flowers that I had in my hand as I laid my eyes on my brother's grave. The plastic wrap around the bouquet folded and groaned under my grip, reminding me not to hold the delicate flowers too tightly.

Together my mother and I stopped in front of his grave, both of us gazing down at the headstone. The silence surrounded us, now that the only things around us were trees and bushes- the other people left back at the entrance. At the time of my brother's death, I agreed that this was the perfect spot for his grave- somewhere that no one would see me cry. Nearly six months after he was first laid to rest, I couldn't help but think that this place was no longer suited for him. Mark was loud, outgoing, always the friendly face that you instinctively searched for in the crowd- and the silence surrounding his grave was another stark reminder that he was no longer here.

Mum kneeled in front of the headstone, her knees just brushing the edge of Mark's grave. She skimmed her hand over the engravings that depicted his name and our message for him, her actions mimicking how she would use to caress our hair when she tucked us into bed at night.

"Pass me the flowers, Zoe," she held out her hand towards me, her gaze barely flickered towards me before she was looking back at the headstone.

I did as she said, kneeling down next to her as she rested the bouquet on the front of his grave. I mimicked her earlier actions, brushing my hand against the rocky top of the headstone. We had been so shocked after his death that choosing what to inscribe on the front was a rushed decision, but looking at it now I couldn't help but reflect on just how fitting it really was;

Death leaves a heartache no one can heal, love leaves a memory no one can steal.

My thoughts drifted to Carter as I read the quote again, wondering if what it was saying was true for us. Maybe my relationship with Carter was nothing more than a memory that would never fade, that's why I felt so attached to him. It was possible that there was no pull between us, instead all that I felt was the lingering feelings associated with the memory of him.

Plus, despite what Elli had said, there was absolutely no chance of us developing a romantic relationship again. Not when I would spend every day watching him live his life when my brother was six feet under the very ground that I was standing on because of him.