Take Two

19║Confession

happy Easter everyone! I hope you all had a lovely weekend, no matter how you celebrate it.

this chapter is dedicated to @-sethdusky for her hilarious comment on the last chapter! thanks a ton.

enjoy this chapter; only seven more to go.

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N I N E T E E N;

My mum barely had time to finish telling me the full story of what really happened before I insisted that she drove me to Carter's house. I knew that I needed to apologize; even though I could have gone the rest of my life without telling Carter what I really thought happened that night, the guilt from that alone would eat me alive.

We sat silently in the car, both of us consumed with our own thoughts. Carter didn't kill my brother, Carter wasn't drunk, Mark was driving. Carter didn't kill my brother, Carter wasn't drunk, Mark was driving.

The words repeated in my head like a mantra of truth; each time the hit me like a stab to the gut. I felt disgusted with myself, for not bothering to ask for the truth. But the truth had been so clear to me. So clean cut. I believed that there was no way that my brother could have been in the wrong, that my brother would have been stupid enough to get behind the wheel of the car drunk.

But he did.

Part of me was mad at my dad, for not explaining it to me further. Yet even broaching the topic of Mark's death would have sent our house into a small version of world war three. None of us wanted it to happen, so we swept it under the rug. I did it because I didn't want to think that Carter would do something to so dumb, and my parents did it because they couldn't believe that their son was to blame for his own death.

It only took moments for me to fly out of the car, practically throwing myself on to Carter's front door. I needed to apologize so badly that if it were to be the last thing that I ever did, I would be content.

Carter's mother, Adele, opened the front door. It took me a moment to realize that it was her. She was leaning against the front door with the majority of her body weight; like she couldn't bear to stand up on her own. Her hair was greasy, tied back into a loose bun and she looked like she had aged twenty years in what had been only a few months.

"Zoe," Adele's attempt of a smile came across as a grimace, like it took all of the energy she had to lift the corner of her lips up, "are you here to see Carter?"

I didn't have the chance to answer before the sound of heavy footsteps coming running down the stairs interrupted us, Carter materializing behind his mother moments later. "Mom, what are you doing out of bed?" His tone was filled with concern as he came over and wrapped his arm around her waist, giving me a fleeting smile before he lead her over to the stairs from which he had come.

"Come visit me soon, Zoe!" Adele called out as she disappeared up the stairs with Carter beside her, letting her lean against him.

I was only waiting for a few minutes before Carter came back, looking like a giant weight had been placed onto his shoulders. His eyes were half shut and his lips turned down in a frown. "What's up, Zoe?"

"I-"I stopped myself, realizing how stupid it would sound if I just said, well, for the past few months I thought that you killed my brother. So sorry about that by the way. I bit down on my lip before pointing towards the couch in the family room, "Do you mind if I have a seat?"

"Oh, right- of course." Carter motioned for me to come in, shutting the front door behind me.

I waited until we were sat on the couch across from each other, him looking at me with a confused glance and I doing everything in my power to not me make eye contact. Still struggling for a way to phrase my apology, I started with, "I'm sorry about your mother."