One M in Amour

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Your name was very simple
With that singular letter M
Sitting in the middle of it
It's hard to think
You were that special to me
Or even worth my time and effort
Put into falling for you

I never had the chance to meet or see you
When you enrolled first year
Was probably too busy
Chasing after someone
Different and at the very least, forgettable
Beautiful but still forgettable
But the sparks flew brightly
As you came into my peripheral vision
You had this interesting set of eyes
A color I'm not all too familiar with
A muted blueish gray
Similar to ocean water, I guess
Your smile was wickedly charming
Seeing your face for the next 180 days
I was gonna enjoy junior year

For the next year or two
You were super oblivious that I liked you
Didn't have the heart to say it to your face
I was too afraid to repeat history
If I had said it early, late, or never
However I looked at you
Like I was already in love
Even tattooed the clouds
With every breath
I took in echoing your name

After I left high school behind me
I still thought of you
And I wanted to let go
Of whatever it used to be
But became what I no longer need
I spoke your name once or twice
You looked at me
I said the truth
And you took it in like a pro
You were very understanding about it
Telling me I'd find my person one day
Knowing it wasn't you, vice versa

I trust that the door has closed now
Though come to think of it,
Has it?
Eh, it shouldn't matter
If I don't delve more
And just let it be, only a memory

***

Reflection: it's been a while since I last wrote a chapter. Back then, she was a sophomore and I was a junior, when we were in high school. We had AP Biology and French 1 together for two consecutive periods. I also didn't know much about her, other than that she was on the varsity soccer team and the National Honor Society. Since we met, I couldn't stop thinking about her. Eventually, she took part in the running start program and began taking college level classes full time, so I no longer saw her during my senior year.

Last time I spoke to her was at her very last soccer game of her senior year. After the game, I pulled her aside quickly and confessed my feelings for her. Knowing it wasn't going to be returned, I took it with a grain of salt.

It's been years since then, and I'm okay now without her.

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