Chapter Forty-Five

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Kesha stumbled through street after street, adrenaline the only thing still keeping her moving. Adrenaline and fear.

She was crying too, choking sobs that blocked up her throat and made her double over. The kind of sobs that made you clutch your stomach and dig your nails in at a futile attempt to hold them in. The kind of sobs that made you try to hold them in, yet they always burst out of you anyway. The kind of sobs that made your legs crumble beneath you and turn you into a shaking wreck. The kind of sobs where you're falling apart mentally and physically and you just need somebody to hold you together in a tight hug. The kind of sobs where you need someone to physically hold onto, no matter who it is. The kind of sobs that break you.

Kesha had felt these sobs before, but never quite to this extent and only every when she was home alone. When she was suicidal. Suicide strangely didn't occur to Kesha now. All that she knew, was that she had to keep going, no matter what. That was easier said than done, however.

Kesha felt herself fall. At least, she was vaguely aware that she was no longer moving forwards. She was too far under to really be sure of anything now. Too far under the sea of depression she lived in. Her own poisoned ocean...

She choked on her tears as her body lay on the cold, hard ground. Too exhausted to move, she had given up. Given up on running, given up on escape, given up on life, given up on everything.

"JUST TAKE ME!" She screamed up at the sky. Rain was pouring down, although Kesha had no idea when it had started. Perhaps it had been raining the whole time. She didn't know and she honestly didn't care. "KILL ME, YOU HEARTLESS COWARD! DO YOU HEAR ME? KILL ME!" Kesha been raised to believe in God, so she assumed that's who she was talking to. But even she couldn't be sure of anything anymore.

If God did exist though, he was really cruel. He was killing her slowly, bit by bit. Maybe he thought it was funny. Maybe he was bored. Or, the more likely answer, he just didn't care...

She lay screaming on the ground like that for ages. Too long. Her body was soon shaking from a different reason, a chill. She was soaked through and the rain was only getting harder. It hammered down on her pale skin relentlessly. Kesha didn't notice, she was slipping in and out of consciousness.

She did react, however, when, an even longer while later, she felt something kick her side -right in her already sore ribs. Kesha screamed in terror like she'd been shot. Pain rocketed through her entire being in sharp shoots of pain. Oh God, the pain. It felt like it was ripping her apart from the inside out!

The person backed up in shock, not actually realizing that anyone was there. They squinted down at her in the darkness, looking apart of it themselves. To Kesha, it looked like one of the monsters from inside her head had escaped and come out to finish the job.

"NO!" Kesha screamed in a shrill voice. "DON'T HURT ME! P-p-please! PLEASE!"

"Oh my God!" The person cried fearfully; a woman's voice. "What on earth are you doing, it's freezing! Are you okay, are you hurt?"

Kesha didn't answer and kept yelling hysterically, not able to think logically anymore. Logic had gone out the window, along with her sanity. The woman stared at her, not knowing what to do. She was horrified by this broken little girls screams of terror.

"Hey, it's okay..." She said slowly, crouching down to squat beside Kesha. "Please calm down for me, alright? What's your name, honey?"

Kesha couldn't answer, she was still screaming. She didn't really know why though anyone, her thoughts were fuzzy and disjointed. All she knew was that everything was dark and she hurt. A lot.

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