Who Knew

Is this for real

Vinny

After Dr. Ross and I both presented some unpleasant news to the family in 305 I walked back to the office to decompress for a moment.

"It never gets easier. No matter how many times something like this happens." Dr. Ross pulled up her chair next to me

I shook my head.This was the hardest part of the job.

"So that Carmen girl is a knockout. I now know why the two of you wouldn't shut up about her." Dr. Ross rolled away from me.

"She's alright." I was trying to play this cool. Of course Carmen was a knockout. Her presence alone was starting to stir something up in me. I knew I felt something for her in the past, but now I felt like I had a real chance. The only thing is that I wasn't the only one wanting a chance with her.

Dr. Ross laughed, "Can't fool me kid. I saw the way you looked at her, and it wasn't like she was a piece of meat either. Is there some history between you two?"

"I used to work with her in the ER." Again I was trying to play this cool. What was I going to say? I saw her on my first day and thought she was the most gorgeous woman I have ever seen, but I was married. I couldn't think like that. We were fine the first couple of days but then she was haunting my dreams. I would see her and think things a married man shouldn't think.

Then some relief to find out that she was with James. That was it I was going to focus on her anymore. Then she was on my shift and fuck something was going on because she just looked even more amazing to me. She smelled like coconuts and the scent drove me wild. That's the night I saw her tattoo and that same night when I was first rude to her. I was trying to suppress my feelings. From then on it became easier to be mean to her. Make her hate me. That's what I wanted so that she would stay away, but she kept coming back. I feel like she was trying to understand why I was such a jerk to her. I wanted to tell her but I couldn't.

My marriage started to become a chore. I was trying to have a baby with my wife who at the time I was convinced wanted one too. We would track her ovulation and have sex to conceive. Little did I know that my wife was secretly still taking her birth control pills.

Things just got progressively worse from there. One night in my sleep I moaned out Carmen's name. My wife didn't let me hear the end of it. She accused me of having an affair.

A week later I set a dinner date with James,Carmen and my wife. We met at a fancy restaurant and had a great time. My wife finally seemed at ease knowing that Carmen was so in love with James. I noticed too, which made me even more miserable. I had to let it go. I got really drunk and this was the same night James brought up Megan. Which in my defense at the time I did not know was Megan's sister. Using my own selfish drunken opinion I told him that if there were actual feelings that he should see if they are real or not. This was the beginning of the demise of Carmen and James.

When James finally told Carmen about Megan at my house, I felt like I could just be myself with Carmen. I held her as she cried into my arms and felt like this was my new beginning. I was going to give Carmen her space and work on getting out of my own situation. Once she was settled I was going to figure out my feelings for her, But Carmen threw a curve ball and left the country. My hopes of possibly being with her went out the window along with my marriage. I thought all those feelings I had went away, but seeing her again now has brought them back to the surface. I felt like such a fool not realizing who she was at first, but not only did she change physically but something about her presence was changed.

"Sure. You may fool some others but you are not fooling me or Mercedes. You like that girl." Dr. Ross stood up. "But act all cool and macho. Don't want anyone to know that you have more feelings than just hooking up."