Dont forget yourself. || karl jacobs x reader ||

Journal Entry.1

Journal entry
Y/n.

It's been 5 years since Dream came back . I don't know how to feel , I'm not allowed to feel. I'm simply his pawn in this mistake we Can life , what is life anyways? Without your loved ones if you even have any still alive at this point.. what is there really to live for? My thoughts have been corrupt lately. As for the others I don't know all Dream does is order me around and use me as an accessory , tommy seems restless. As I can say Tubbo commited suicide almost two years ago ,

he said that he couldn't take it anymore all he wished was for tommy to be happy and to take care of his precious bees After his suicide we soon realized things weren't ever going to be normal again

As for Karl . I bring his food every now and then his mouth and arms are chained up so he can't really tell me anything , the things I'd do to hear his precious voice again his skin has gon pale and he's so much more skinnier than he used to be ,

As for techno tubbos suicide really took a tool on him aswell dream keeps a big eye on him as he has been caught lurking the palace late at night around my room , he slips me notes under my door as we are not allowed to speak. Dreams taken advantage of me for my body.

Christs sake this isn't even my own body anymore it's his he chooses the clothes , the diet , the workout , the lifestyle , the aesthetic , I am not my own person I mean none of us are ,

we'll always be the side character of someone's story , see yourself through someone else's eyes do you really wish to be your own friend? Once seeing yourself in their eyes you will understand why you are so lonely in this world on this planet in this galaxy .

Why not become a star they say? A star is always seen. Werther your talking space stars or movie stars there is no difference . What am I? What are you? My thoughts have compelled me a lot lately , maybe tubbo was right all along , suicide would fix our problems WOULDNT it.

Will it?

I don't know . Everything has become more and more damp lately. The sky is gloomy the town is dead quackity no longer wishes to speak to us , no one does later a fact , no one has taken the news of Dream happily . I miss nightmare he was a good friend my mind had gone blank about him , did he ever really exist ? If so what did he look like ? What did I look like in his eyes ?

Was I a good person ?

Was I what he wanted me to be ?

What is it that I wish to be exactly.

What am I

What is us

I should stop writing . It's getting late please don't forget yourself .

Don't forget yourself .

Dont forget yourself .

Don't forget yourself .

Don't forget yourself .

Karl Jacobs , y/n , tommy , techno .

DONT forget them .

Don't forget us .

And don't forget . Who you were in their eyes

Jornal entry end

The sound of creaking escaped my door , it was Dream " y/n. Sleep . I don't want to hear your footsteps in the slightest and control that brother of yours. I'm tired of seeing him around my palace "

I give him a nod before putting my journal in my desk and laying in my bed. I've wanted to do another mission .. maybe if i do it i Can stay in that world forever . But dreams caught onto that , he took mine and Karl's watches and locked them away . He said and I quote ' even if you had them i would still find you. I always will' i feel as if I should try and lay low , I've been writing notes to techo aswell he says the only way out is to do the impossible

And that is to beat Dream . I think it's possible yet he doesn't , he isn't as confident in himself as he used to be , Christ sake he won't even look himself in the mirror . I turn in bed due to my back acheing , I haven't had a good nights rest since his suicide , tubbo probably watches us from above hoping we escape but Tommy thinks we shouldn't escape . He says it's dangerous but if I do end up doing the plan

I won't leave him behind

I fall asleep quickly

Morning

I star at the sun coming out my window the breeze is cold , it's winter. I hear footsteps approaching my room " y/n! I bought you a winter coat DONT you like it? It's your favorite color!"

I stare at the coat Dream had bought if it was my so called favorite color why was it yellow? My favorite color is red. I stare at it with a dead expression , dreams face becomes annoyed "y/n. Do you not appreciate this gift? You are so ungrateful after everything I do for you. "

He reaches his hand out slapping me leaving a bruise , he scoffs and drops the coat in my lap " wear it. We have important buisness . I'm finally letting you outside ! ISNT that great ? It's snowing so I thought you'd like it! You should appreciate this while you can. Or else It might never happen again. If you think of running Don't. I've had guards cover the outside in large walls , now hurry up. I don't like to wait"

He left the room in a rush leaving me with the coat , I stare at it and sight before putting it on, I wonder how the outside will be. I get up in my pajamas and only coat walking outside , techno was beside my door .

He smiles before walking by me reaching for my pocket . My pocket becomes heavier . I have no time to check it , I see Dream staring at techno giving him a glare before shooing me forward and taking me to the gate , the outside is fluffy and rich.

Dream smiles

"Isn't it lovely? My dear?"

He brings me to an open area outside snow covered the ground , he gets on one knee reaching for his pocket , my eyes widen

He takes out a rose smirking " what? What did you think it was? Did you think I was gonna purpose? HAH. Do you really thing anyone would do something romantic as this to purpose? Especially for you. You make me laugh" he gets up wiping his knee before walking farther down the forest infront of the palace cueing me to follow

I finally decide to check my pocket. My skin feels something sharp making me take my hand out in reflex , I check my finger seeing a small slice barely cutting the skin , I reach into the pocket to see what it was making sure to be careful this time

It was a pocket knife .

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Words : 1163

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Sorry this was mainly a filler chapter ! Hope you still liked it though!